The Ordeal In Full

The Group Test: Apparently we’ve been in a plane crash and all that’s left besides us is the skeleton of the plane. We have to rank our 15 possessions in order of importance. The reflective mirror was the most important, an idea I helpfully shot down early on in the discussion. We ran out of time and didn’t appoint a spokesperson.

Numerical Test: I’m glad they said they were more interested in accuracy than speed because for the 20 minute test I answered 9 out of 20 questions. It didn’t help that I was ticking the wrong boxes on the answer sheet and had to go back and put it right.

Proofreading Test: Gulp. I didn’t finish this in the time given. I would sell it on my accuracy, but who would I be kidding? Saw the first page of the answer sheet. I think I found more mistakes than there actually were…

Written Test: Had to speed produce some copy around what to say when calling up a car seller. 30 minute time limit to produce 250 words, points deducted for being ten words over or under. I didn’t have time to count.

Verbal Test: You’ve got a bit of text and you’re asked questions relating to this piece of text and you have to say whether it’s true, false or cannot say – based on what’s written, not what you know yourself – almost finished this one.

Personality Test: There are no right or wrong answers, but just in case you’re lying, they’ll ask you the same question over and over but from different angles.

The Interview: Oh yes, there was an hour long interview as well.

Can’t have gone too badly, they’ve asked me back this Thursday to spend a day in the office as a 2nd interview. Not that there was supposed to be a 2nd interview. Don’t they know how expensive it is to go to these things!!!

The Toll of the Unexpected.

Despite the persistant indifference shown to me as a candidate for employment, I have continued to send off the CVs and cover letters, frequently but without much hope.

Yet on Tuesday, something I never dreamt could happen, happened. Somewhere in the world the rivers must've been running red with blood because I, David Paul Nixon, was asked to a job interview.

Well, not quite. I was asked to an 'assessment day', they'd send the details through the post the next day. So I spent the next few days brushing up on my copywriting theory. But when the letter finally arrived there was no mention of anything to do with writing. This assessment day will consist of a group exercise, a personality questionnaire and will end with a numerical and verbal reasoning Test.

I'd never done one of these tests before so I took one online by the people who produce them for the company. I feel quite confidence about the verbal test, but as for the numerical test, well, if I keep practising I might be able to get my score to above 30%.

Oh and the job is for junior copywriter at Trader Media Group. I'll be primarily working on the Auto-Trader website. Cars are not exactly my area of expertise as I know only fractionally more about cars today then I did the day I was born.

So providing they don't find out that I can't add and I don't know shit about cars, I should be just fine.

Danger!!!

Look out! It's Eegah!!



Yes, Richard (Jaws from Bond) Kiel is Eegah, caveman extraordinaire. He's lived for centuries in a cave (Ro-man's cave in fact) without being discovered, but one day stumbles onto the road and straight into the headlights of love.



But Roxy has to go and tell her stupid father. So he goes out, on his own, with no supplies, over night, in the desert, to search for the primitive and aggressive giant.



And when he doesn't come back it's upto Roxy's boyfriend, the pug-faced, dune buggy enthusiast, Arch Hall Jr, to rescue him.



But the silly boy takes Roxy with him, and once Eegah sees woman all hell breaks loose. Will Eegah throw Roxy over his shoulder and walk off with her?

You betya.



Will Roxy and Eegah hit it off? Is her Dad still alive*? Will Arch Hall Jnr's song 'Oh Vicky' be a huge hit, paving his way to be the next Elvis. Was his Dad the director of this film?

All this and more in 'Eegah

And watch out for Snakes.

Fighting The War Against Bias

For those who find that Wikipedia - the encyclopedia you can edit yourself - shows too much bias? Do you finds that it's articles are biased towards Anti-American flag haters, lily livered liberals and god hating homos'?

Then why not try Conservapedia the 'trustworthy encyclopedia', where they fight 'bias' with bias.

Why not check out there incredibly informative articles on Homosexuality, Abortion and the Republican Party.

With already 9,000 registered contributors (you have to be registered) it's clearly becoming an important Internet resource, although 4,000 of them are permanently banned. And it did have to except some 'Anti-American' bias by revising its policy on allowing English spellings.

Quote of the Day: "I do feel that evolution is being controlled by some sort of divine engineer. I can't help thinking that. And this engineer knows exactly what he or she is doing and why, and where evolution is headed. That’s why we’ve got giraffes and hippopotami and the clap." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr

Goodbye Falmouth