Well obviously not, there's obviously been worse*. Nevertheless, this is not an appealing concept:
ANN WIDDECOMBE'S CLEVERDICKS
Cleverdicks is the exciting new quiz hosted by the formidably intelligent former politician Ann Widdecombe, who will bring her uniquely witty charm to the proceedings.
In each show, four supremely intelligent contestants will battle it out in four rounds to try and prove that they really are as clever as they say.
The show will take place daytimes & evenings during November at The Sky Studios in West London.
So if you would like to join Ann & some knowledgeable know-it-all's in November at Sky Studios, then apply now!
Somehow, I don't think I'll be applying for tickets for this one. Charismatic a character Anne Widdecombe is....
* Personal favourites include: Who's Your Daddy, where a contestant, given up for adoption as a child, had to pick their real father from a group of 25 men; Man vs. Beast in which humans face off against animals in a variety of physical challenges; and of course, Heil Honey I'm Home, the wacky domestic antics of Adolf Hitler and his jewish next door neighbours.
Showing posts with label Worst TV Shows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worst TV Shows. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Friday, April 03, 2009
5 More of the Greatest TV Shows You've Never Heard of
My Mother the Car
Just imagine it, you go to your local car dealership to buy a car, he shows you some old vintage thing and it starts to speak to you in the voice of your late mother! That’s exactly what’s happened to Dave Crabree, played by Jerry Van Dyke (a poor man’s Dick), who finds out that his mother has been reincarnated as a car, and only he can hear her. Typical parent, soooo embarrassing. Although he’ll have to watch out, the evil moustachioed car collector Manzini is out to steal his mother-mobile, so he'd better watch out.
Click here to see this enchanting opening theme.
Mrs Columbo
Once Mr Columbo had hung up his dirty detecting mac, it was time for the wife to take over. The woman who plays Captain Janeway in Star Trek Voyager is Mrs Columbo, although it’s not really clear whether she is actually married to the Detective Columbo. Peter Falk is not actually in it and after a while they changed the name of the show to Kate Columbo, then a little while later during its long 13 episode run they called it Kate the Detective, and awhile later they called it Kate Loves a Mystery, by which time she had divorced her husband, who wasn’t apparently Columbo anymore.
Anyway, you’ll be able to tell just how gripping a crime show it is from the exciting opening sequence.
Manimal
Jonathan Chase is a man, or is he! To quote the opening narration, he is: “A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father's legacy and the world's darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man... Manimal!” He can change into any animal he wants to fight crime, although in practice it tends to be either a panther or a hawk, unless he managed to change earlier off camera. This exciting series was obviously too much for audiences at the time, as it only lasted 8 episodes.
Watch the legendary title sequence here...
To see the gripping and tautly paced transformation sequence, click here. It’s so amazing it’s like he’s changing on a completely different set.
Supertrain
It’s all in the title. This nuclear-powered bullet train is more like a luxury liner than a normal train, boasting swimming pools, a shopping mall and a ballroom dance hall (must’ve been pretty steady). It could take you from New York to Los Angeles in 36 hours and must’ve been pretty amazing to make you go through that when you could fly there in about 6. Each week some exciting intrigue would happen that definitely wasn’t just nicked from an Agatha Christie novel, I mean, having spent so much time building all the sets and creating the special effects (it was at the time, the most expensive TV show ever), they definitely made sure that they spent plenty of time on the stories, all uhm, 9 of them.
Watch the exciting opening here.
Watch the teaser for episode two ‘And A Cup of Kindness, Too’ here. And don’t ever call Dick Van Dyke a lunatic.
The Powers of Matthew Star
David, who’s name changes to Matthew at some point, is an alien prince whose family has been killed and he’s hiding out in exile on earth with his guardian, Walter. He either does, or doesn’t know this, depending which episode you watch, but boy does it cause problems with his high school teenage life. Being an alien en all, he has various special powers: telekinesis, telepathy, clairvoyance, transmutation and astral projection, again, depending on which episode you watch. Walter apparently doesn’t have any powers, but he’s a bit strong so that helps. They go on adventures
and avoid alien assassins, the authorities and try to keep their secret from all there friends. The usual stuff.
Watch the exciting opening episode here. It’s long, but worth watching all the way through.
And check out this exciting corridor chase scene. So tense.
Just imagine it, you go to your local car dealership to buy a car, he shows you some old vintage thing and it starts to speak to you in the voice of your late mother! That’s exactly what’s happened to Dave Crabree, played by Jerry Van Dyke (a poor man’s Dick), who finds out that his mother has been reincarnated as a car, and only he can hear her. Typical parent, soooo embarrassing. Although he’ll have to watch out, the evil moustachioed car collector Manzini is out to steal his mother-mobile, so he'd better watch out.
Click here to see this enchanting opening theme.
Mrs Columbo
Once Mr Columbo had hung up his dirty detecting mac, it was time for the wife to take over. The woman who plays Captain Janeway in Star Trek Voyager is Mrs Columbo, although it’s not really clear whether she is actually married to the Detective Columbo. Peter Falk is not actually in it and after a while they changed the name of the show to Kate Columbo, then a little while later during its long 13 episode run they called it Kate the Detective, and awhile later they called it Kate Loves a Mystery, by which time she had divorced her husband, who wasn’t apparently Columbo anymore.
Anyway, you’ll be able to tell just how gripping a crime show it is from the exciting opening sequence.
Manimal
Jonathan Chase is a man, or is he! To quote the opening narration, he is: “A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father's legacy and the world's darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man... Manimal!” He can change into any animal he wants to fight crime, although in practice it tends to be either a panther or a hawk, unless he managed to change earlier off camera. This exciting series was obviously too much for audiences at the time, as it only lasted 8 episodes.
Watch the legendary title sequence here...
To see the gripping and tautly paced transformation sequence, click here. It’s so amazing it’s like he’s changing on a completely different set.
Supertrain
It’s all in the title. This nuclear-powered bullet train is more like a luxury liner than a normal train, boasting swimming pools, a shopping mall and a ballroom dance hall (must’ve been pretty steady). It could take you from New York to Los Angeles in 36 hours and must’ve been pretty amazing to make you go through that when you could fly there in about 6. Each week some exciting intrigue would happen that definitely wasn’t just nicked from an Agatha Christie novel, I mean, having spent so much time building all the sets and creating the special effects (it was at the time, the most expensive TV show ever), they definitely made sure that they spent plenty of time on the stories, all uhm, 9 of them.
Watch the exciting opening here.
Watch the teaser for episode two ‘And A Cup of Kindness, Too’ here. And don’t ever call Dick Van Dyke a lunatic.
The Powers of Matthew Star
David, who’s name changes to Matthew at some point, is an alien prince whose family has been killed and he’s hiding out in exile on earth with his guardian, Walter. He either does, or doesn’t know this, depending which episode you watch, but boy does it cause problems with his high school teenage life. Being an alien en all, he has various special powers: telekinesis, telepathy, clairvoyance, transmutation and astral projection, again, depending on which episode you watch. Walter apparently doesn’t have any powers, but he’s a bit strong so that helps. They go on adventures
and avoid alien assassins, the authorities and try to keep their secret from all there friends. The usual stuff.
Watch the exciting opening episode here. It’s long, but worth watching all the way through.
And check out this exciting corridor chase scene. So tense.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Best TV Shows Ever!!!
Since becoming unemployed I've had some time to enjoy the finer things in life*. Once such luxury has been the time I've been able to spend digging through the TV archives and tracking down so long-lost TV classics, which, unaccountably remain little known and unreleased on DVD or video. Here are five little-known gems that deserve, deserve, to be seen and revisited.
Heil Honey I’m Home!
The day to day life of everybody’s favourite fascist dictator. Adolf has a successful career, a gorgeously wife and a beautiful home; everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for those darn Goldensteins next door. Strangely, this wacky 50s style comedy opus was cancelled after only one episode. Can you believe it?
Click here to watch the first classic episode.
The Man From Atlantis
Patrick Duffy is a man who has some of the abilities of a fish. He’s got amnesia but everyone’s pretty certain that he’s the last survivor from Atlantis. He’s been recruited by the government to fight crime underwater and occasionally travel in time. Hard to believe, but this exciting underwater adventure only lasted for four TV movies and 13 episodes.
Click here to watch the theme.
Click here to see some tense dramatic pause action.
Small Wonder
Back in the 80s before fertility treatment just what were you to do if you wanted a kid but couldn't conceive? Well for the Lawsons, one son wasn’t enough, so engineer Ted decided to build a daughter too. But Vicki’s no normal girl; she runs on atomic power and has super-human strength. Will they be able to pass her off as their own child or will her strange robot behaviour attract the attention of their neighbours. Unbelievably this ran for a full 96 episodes.
Click here to see the opening theme.
Click here to see a classic, classic, clip
Holmes & Yo-Yo
It’s the same old story, maverick cop, doesn’t do things by the book, his partners always end up in hospital... What Detective Holmes needs is a tough new partner who can keep up the pace with him. What he needs is Gregory ‘Yo-Yo’ Yoyonivich. Why? Because he’s a robot! Together they make one tough, dangerous – and wacky, crime fighting team. As long as Yo-Yo doesn’t malfunction! Hard to believe, but this great series only ran for 13 episodes.
Click here to see the opening sequence which carefully sketches out the premise.
And check out this great closing gag.
Cop Rock
Having steered legendary cop show Hill Street Blues, Steven Bochco decided that the cop genre needed to be taken in a totally new direction and given a sharp new edge. That edge was musical theatre. Viewers were treated to a totally new vision of life on the street in a way that’s never been seen before or since. There are only 11 episodes of this special series; each one has to be seen to be believed.
Click here to see the cops victimise a white collar guy.
Click here to see the tense scene where a guilty verdict is handed down.
Click here to see the police captain take his squad to task.
*hello sarcasm.
Heil Honey I’m Home!
The day to day life of everybody’s favourite fascist dictator. Adolf has a successful career, a gorgeously wife and a beautiful home; everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for those darn Goldensteins next door. Strangely, this wacky 50s style comedy opus was cancelled after only one episode. Can you believe it?
Click here to watch the first classic episode.
The Man From Atlantis
Patrick Duffy is a man who has some of the abilities of a fish. He’s got amnesia but everyone’s pretty certain that he’s the last survivor from Atlantis. He’s been recruited by the government to fight crime underwater and occasionally travel in time. Hard to believe, but this exciting underwater adventure only lasted for four TV movies and 13 episodes.
Click here to watch the theme.
Click here to see some tense dramatic pause action.
Small Wonder
Back in the 80s before fertility treatment just what were you to do if you wanted a kid but couldn't conceive? Well for the Lawsons, one son wasn’t enough, so engineer Ted decided to build a daughter too. But Vicki’s no normal girl; she runs on atomic power and has super-human strength. Will they be able to pass her off as their own child or will her strange robot behaviour attract the attention of their neighbours. Unbelievably this ran for a full 96 episodes.
Click here to see the opening theme.
Click here to see a classic, classic, clip
Holmes & Yo-Yo
It’s the same old story, maverick cop, doesn’t do things by the book, his partners always end up in hospital... What Detective Holmes needs is a tough new partner who can keep up the pace with him. What he needs is Gregory ‘Yo-Yo’ Yoyonivich. Why? Because he’s a robot! Together they make one tough, dangerous – and wacky, crime fighting team. As long as Yo-Yo doesn’t malfunction! Hard to believe, but this great series only ran for 13 episodes.
Click here to see the opening sequence which carefully sketches out the premise.
And check out this great closing gag.
Cop Rock
Having steered legendary cop show Hill Street Blues, Steven Bochco decided that the cop genre needed to be taken in a totally new direction and given a sharp new edge. That edge was musical theatre. Viewers were treated to a totally new vision of life on the street in a way that’s never been seen before or since. There are only 11 episodes of this special series; each one has to be seen to be believed.
Click here to see the cops victimise a white collar guy.
Click here to see the tense scene where a guilty verdict is handed down.
Click here to see the police captain take his squad to task.
*hello sarcasm.
About Me
- Dave Paul Nixon
is a writer for better and for worse. I got in above my station writing for M&S, but was credit crunched down to writing about sex toys, Viagra and herpes meds. I’m now taking a step back towards legitimacy by writing for JML Direct. I’m awkward and don’t like much.
