Taxing

As usual, I cannot do anything right.

When I finished my job as an Oxfam bookstore manager (yes, someone actually gave me a position of responsibility) last September I had been taxed in full.

Sensibly then, come April, I decided to apply for a refund.

I could not find one amongst the 20 odd phone lines that applied to me. But I phoned one, and they were able to put me through to the right person who was then able to send me a form.

I returned the form.

Unfortunately there’s no box on the form to say ‘full time student’, so without any box to tick, I ticked the one which said ‘self employed’ on the basis that this would maybe be the case in the future. I then put my earnings as zero.

I then, with relish waited a whole month, then on my doorstep a beautiful brown Inland Revenue envelope. I opened with considerable admiration, 500 quid would once again be mine. What did I get?

A full length tax return to be returned at the end of the year.

Happy? Was I f**K

I phoned up the Revenue, and the third person I spoke to was able to help me. Unfortunately my records had been transferred down to Cornwall, they will have to be retransported back to Cardiff, before I can have my refund processed.

It would probably have been quicker had I sat down and put a cross or a zero in every bloody box.

Sigh

The delusion of the day is Unilateral neglectwhere one denies ownership of a limb or an entire side of ones body