Please Take a Moment to Read This Urgent Appeal

"I too didn't used to take that dreaded affliction of Factosis too seriously. It seemed like a ridiculous thing that someone had probably made up to flog some books and newspaper articles. But then it struck the very heart of my own personal life.

My father, whilst surfing the internet, suddenly discovered the fascinating fact that the only member of ZZ-top who didn't have a beard was called Frank Beard.

This sent him into a dangerous spasm. Levels of interest in the brain are sustained by tiny endorphins called Trivians. This nugget of information was so tantalisingly interesting that trivians gathered so quickly around the knowledge centres of his brain, that he fell to the floor and scrambled around like a badger in a cement mixer. And this was a man used to all kind of interesting bits of information, he was an accountant after all.

This could've been avoided. If he had known about the dangers of Factosis then he would still be making sense today. A small donation of £72 .61 a week would pay for someone to have a full frontal lobotomy and stop these tragedies from occuring."

Stay in doors and don't learn anything. And stop to think about the dangers of Factosis"

- that bloke out of steps, not H.

For further information please e-mail philogley@yahoo.co.uk