These days I find myself having to watch infomercials quite
a lot, as is the nature of my job. Here are a few of my favourites...
Urine Gone
I’m all for naming a product after what it does, but maybe
they should’ve picked something a little more nuanced? And I can’t help but
feel, in the case of the woman who has lots of dogs, maybe she should just
train them better?
Pizzarette
Hold your own bad Italian stereotype parties with Pizzarette,
as recommended by an anonymous chef with a very authentic accent. My favourite
part is the bit when the woman has to yell “I love tuna”, just to get a word
in. And how are you pronouncing Pizzarette again?
Potty Putter
Isn’t the risk with this product (and I accept there are a
number of fundamental flaws) that every time you play golf, you’ll only be able
to putt while squatting with your trousers down? Better make sure you wash the
handle every time…
Uro Club
I imagine somewhere there in America there’s a golf fan who
mends toilets for a living and suddenly stumbled onto a world of opportunity.
If you’re going to stand in the bushes, you mays as well just have a slash
anyway…
Hawaii Chair
I suppose a clinic specialising in the treatment of
Parkinson’s might not be a good place to use it - but other than that, yeah,
literally, you could just use it absolutely anywhere.
Comfort Wipe
I’m not convinced there are any advantages to being a “big
guy” in this context. And even if there were, needing a pair of tongs to wipe
your arse would pretty much cancel any of them out.
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