Five of the Hardest Films to See

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April Film Highlights

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Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams, Zach Braff, Bill Cobbs, Joey King. Dir: Sam Raimi.

 

An unscrupulous carnival magician is whisked away to the land of Oz and sent to kill a witch. CGI is colourful and sometimes beautiful – but not magic. Lacking in wit and inspiration, this is an expensive but bland runaround, which makes not much sense and is hard to care about.

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The Poseidon Adventure (1972) Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Carol Lynley, Roddy McDowall, Stella Stevens, Shelley Winters, Jack Albertson, Leslie Nielson. Dir: Ronald Neame.

When a boat capsizes, a group of passengers must band together to survive. Something of a classic, even if the script’s clunky and the characters are hopelessly one-dimensional, veering between irritating and unintentionally hilarious. It’s an impressive production nevertheless, and dramatic enough to keep your attention.

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The Birds (1963) Tippi Hedren, Rod Taylor, Jessica Tandy, Suzanne Pleshette, Suzanne Pleshette. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock.

 

A socialite chases a man to a secluded town where the birds start turning nasty. Effects may have dated, but an impressive technical achievement. And it never makes you giggle, tone’s too serious and arguably the sound’s what’s most frightening. Hitch’s most horrific, psychologically complex and full of unexpected danger.

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In the House (2012) Fabrice Luchini, Ernst Umhauer, Kristin Scott Thomas, Emmanuelle Seigner, Yolande Moreau, Denis Menochet. Dir: François Ozon.

A teacher takes an interest in a student who writes about his visits to a middle-class home. Clever tale about storytelling, its pleasures and pitfalls, and what our subjectivity reveals about us, our needs, desires and envies. A little contrived, but witty, funny and devastating, with ambiguities that’ll prompt discussion.

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The Aristocats (1970) Phil Harris, Eva Gabor, Liz English, Gary Dubin, Scatman Crothers, Dean Clark, Sterling Holloway, Roddy Maude-Roxby. Dir: Wolfgang Reitherman.

A cat and her kittens are kidnapped but find help from a streetwise tom cat. Admittedly rather slight, and pilfers liberally from past successes, but it’s so adorable you can’t help but love it. The characters are irresistible, the music infectious and the animation gorgeously rendered.

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Side Effects (2013) Jude Law, Rooney Mara, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Channing Tatum, Vinessa Shaw. Dir: Stephen Soderburgh.

 

A suicidally depressed woman experiences a shocking side effect from her new medication. Gets less interesting as its plot twists and turns; what starts as a drama examining a culture of industry-driven pill-popping turns slowly into a big-reveal, plot-twist thriller. Perfectly watchable, but less than the sum of its parts.

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Vengeance is Mine (1979) Ken Ogata, Mayumi Ogawa, Rentaro Mikuni, Mitsuko Baisho. Dir: Shohei Imamura.

After murdering his superior, an office-worker goes on the run, murdering and thieving as he sees fit. Deliberately avoids easy answers; history, society, upbringing and religion –they’re suggested, but none really explains Enokizu’s evil. Presumably that’s the point. Occasionally beautiful but mostly bleak and intentionally troubling viewing.

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Comic Book Villain of the Week

Paranex The Fighting Fetus

Some are born bad, others are bad before they’re even born. Paranex has yet to earn his birth certificate, but that hasn’t prevented him from growing into an armour-clad, gigantic killing machine with telekinetic abilities.

Despite his homicidal tendencies, and deadly powers strong enough to wreck a space station, Captain Victory is reluctant to harm Paranex because it’s not fair to kill something that has not yet been born.  

Could this be some kind of strange political allegory for the debate over abortion? Does it make any sense? Does it make any more sense when it’s revealed that Captain Victory’s concern for the unborn killer is just a ruse to lure out his ultimate enemy, the mysterious Voice?  After which it’s perfectly fine to do away with the unborn psychopath.

It’s definitely made me reassess my views on the abortion issue…

March Film Highlights

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Robot & Frank (2012) Frank Langella, Susan Sarandon, Peter Sarsgaard, James Marsden, Liv Tyler. Dir: Jake Schreier.

A forgetful retired burglar is forced to accept a robot carer, but finds different ways to use him…Superbly written bittersweet drama, a story that perfectly balances comedy and melancholy, unexpectedly moving from one to the other without ever over-doing it. Langella never better as the ageing rogue approaching senility.

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Psycho (1960) Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Vera Miles, John Gavin, Martin Balsam. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock.

A woman on the run arrives at an isolated motel run by a shy man and his domineering mother. Probably the greatest murder in cinema history, and a censorship watershed. Time’s reduced its ability to surprise or shock, but suspense and dark humour still resonate, as does Perkins singular performance.

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Mama (2013) Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nélisse, Daniel Kash. Dir: Andrés Muschietti.

Feral children are found in woodland and returned to relatives, but something comes with them. It’s good Hollywood’s investing in horror, but Mama’s the same old cheap tricks recycled. There are stylish flourishes, lush cinematography and strong cast, but it’s wasted on a padded, undercooked script with a ridiculous conclusion.

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The Cooler (2003) William H. Macy, Alec Baldwin, Maria Bello, Shawn Hatosy, Ron Livingston, Arthur J. Nascarella. Dir: Wayne Kramer.

A man so unlucky a casino employs him to ruin player’s luck has a sudden change of fortune. Witty shaggy-dog story that occasionally loses its way amongst sub-plots but retains focus on three damaged characters who, better or worse, only have each other. Terrific leads and refreshingly glamour-less look at Vegas.

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Lincoln (2012) Daniel Day-Lewis, Tommy Lee Jones, Sally Field, David Strathairn, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Spader, Hal Holbrook, John Hawkes, Walton Goggins. Dir: Steven Spielberg.

If Lincoln’s to pass is to end slavery, he must pass the bill before civil war ends. Spielberg manages for the most part to not over-egg what’s obviously a momentous story (shame about the score) creating a riveting political drama, with top supporting cast, and plenty of revealing character moments.

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Bonnie Scotland (1935) Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, June Lang, William Janney, Anne Grey, Vernon Steele, Jimmy Finlayson. Dir: James W. Horne.

The boys travel to Scotland to claim Stan’s inheritance, but end up accidentally joining the army. Another L&H film that oddly has them tangentally follow other characters’ plot, but fortunately this times they keep main focus. First half is undeniably better, though second does build to an unusually ambitious finale.

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Buy My House

Quite some time ago (a ridiculous time ago) me and my brother inherited a house. It was a little tired, and in need of some repair. We gave this chap we thought we could trust money to do the house up.

He did do some of the work, but he spent most of the money on another project, which evidentally did not work out. So then he wasn't able to raise the money to finish the work. Thus, after a number of years the work remained unfinished. And worse still, there was a severe leak which resulted in part of the ceiling caving in and much of the interior being ruined.

So, after much indignation, me and my brother set about doing the job ourselves. It was not fun. It has been hard. It has been expensive. The full day it took my to pressure wash the front and back gardens and the driveway was particularly unpleasant. It was only just above freezing, I had mud splattered up my trousers beyond my knees and lost all feeling in my right foot.

Anyway... The house is now available for purchase, should you have a spare hundred grand or so available. It's in Abergele, North Wales, a lovely little bungalow, newly decorated. If you're interested, just let me know!

 

Things I've Enjoyed: Dexter Season 7

TV’s favourite serial killer has been stalling a bit of late. Dexter uniquely is a series with a conclusion all its viewers already know – that Dexter will be found out. How it happens is the source of much suspense and intrigue, but its postponement through six seasons has dragged the series into a pretty uninspiring direction.

After all, it’s a show with a fairly high concept, and one that lends itself easily to formula. Right from the off, It could so easily have been a police procedural with a dark edge, with Dexter pursuing a  new killer(s) each season, trying desperately to stay ahead of his police cohorts.

Early seasons seemed to rally against allowing the show to fall into this pattern: after Dexter’s parlay with the Ice Truck Killer in season 1, the following two seasons stayed mostly away from serial killing nemeses, pitting Dexter against more ordinary monsters, people so easily and willingly corrupted by the prospect of killing.

It wasn’t until the fourth season that Dexter found himself up against another serial murderer, that of the Trinity Killer, played by John Lithgow. It was a hard act to follow; it was the best season yet, and Lithgow was much and justly awarded for his performance.

Things have been much slower since then, the following seasons serving up new killer enemies who were less engaging and leading to less revelations and explorations of our hero’s character. Even with a complicated character like Dexter, there’s only so much you can say or do with them.

But now, finally, the cat is out of the bag. Deborah (Jennifer Carpenter), Dexter’s foul-mouthed sister, knows. It’s as if the writers have let out a sigh of relief, suddenly the show can move forward again, and it does so with gusto.

Deborah’s not the first to discover Dexter’s secret (another factor against the show’s credible longevity) but unlike others, she has no sympathy or empathy with Dexter dark doings.

We’ve always liked Dexter, no matter how much he’s stretched his moral code, we’ve always identified with him as an outcast who presents a false face to the world, despite his darkness. But for the first time, we get to really see him from someone else’s perspective, and it’s not a nice picture.

 

That’s how season 7 plays out; it’s asking one fundamental question: just what makes Dexter different from the people he kills? For him, it’s the code that targets his urges only towards the guilty. But for Deborah, seeing him with his mementos and dangerous compulsive urges, he could just be another psychopath making excuses for their actions.

So this time around, there’s no single over-arching plot. Instead, the show plays out a variety of scenarios which test their relationship, effectively playing out the argument for and against from episode to episode.

Two larger storylines run through:  the first pits Dexter against a mafia enforcer who doesn’t take kindly to Dexter disappearing one of his associates. Deborah’s horrified at how Dexter’s actions snowball into multiple killings, drawing others into the crossfire and compromising both their safety. But she also gets a chance to see Dexter as an avenger, someone who’ll do anything to protect her.

The other storyline, the more interesting of the two, sees Dexter become interested in another killer, apparently reformed. Hannah McKay (Yvonne Strahovski) was the kidnapped girlfriend of a serial killer, but escaped prosecution for being underage and claiming not to have been complicit in his crimes. But when Dexter finds out otherwise, and suspects further killings, he goes after her, only to become romantically entangled.

Unlike Deborah, Hannah accepts Dexter completely. She has killed to further her goals and accepts that Dexter also kills to meet his own needs. We’re left to feel ambivalent towards McKay, who, like Dexter, is attractive and pleasant on the outside but harbours secrets within. We get to see something of her painful past, see her with her guard down, but crucially, unlike Dexter, we’re never given access to her inner monologue.

 

She remains aloof, and is no doubt intended to give us the same impression that Dexter gives Deborah. Someone who is all surface, some one who habitually lies, and no matter how much we might like them, we know ultimately cannot be trusted. As the season progresses Dexter is forced to make a choice between the two women he loves, one who accepts him as he is and another who might not be able to live with who he is.

Dexter does, of course, have a supporting cast, though their less showy, but reliable performances gets them little notice. The writers are clearly fond of Desmond Harrington’s Joey Quinn, a character who puts on a good show of street-savvy smarts but is desperately short-sighted . He hits a new low this series; like watching a car crash slowly, we both can and can’t believe he’s so stupid.  Sadly, though, there’s still no good material for Masuka (C.S. Lee) or Batista (David Zayas).

One of the best things about Season 7 is that for the first in a long time, Dexter is starting to feel unexpected again. There’s a crucial moment at the series’ climax that honestly made me sit up straight and shout “f**k” – you really won’t see it coming.

That’s the power of taking the brakes off. In the last days anything and everything might or could happen. There are rumours that the show might go to a ninth series – let’s hope the writers don’t give in to studio pressure. The show has benefited so much from pressing ahead it would be a shame to spoil it by stalling again.

Comic Book Villain of the Week

Snowflame

 

The super villain Snowflame enjoys superpowers that include superhuman strength, super speed, immunity to pain and pyrokenesis. He gained these powers by taking cocaine. Lots of cocaine. In fact, the more cocaine he took, the more powerful he got.

No, apparently he wasn’t just imagining it. In his own words: "I am Snowflame! Every cell of my being burns with white-hot ecstasy. Cocaine is my God -- and I am the human instrument of its will!" He really, really, loves cocaine.

He appeared in issue two of New Guardians, a short lived series featuring a band of mostly new heroes tasked with protecting the earth from threats that might endanger mankind’s evolutionary course.

They battled with Snowflame’s drug cartel, initially with little success as his henchman rather unsportingly shot them. Fortunately, they just happened to be impervious to bullets for some reason and mounted a successful second assault which ended with Snowflame being thrown into a comic shed which promptly blew him up .

It was turning out to be a bad week for the New Guardians, in the previous issue several of their number were infected with HIV after being bitten by a creature called the Hemo-Goblin. Because, of course, that’s how HIV works…

It was the 80s; that’s how you dealt with issues, with ignorance and stereotypes. Was Snowflame Columbian? Of course he was…

February Film Highlights

I'm in the process of making a new 50 word blog, but for the time being, please visit the old one.

Quatermass II (1957) Brian Donlevy, John Longden, Sid James, Bryan Forbes, William Franklyn, Vera Day. Dir:Val Guest.

Unusual meteor fragments lead Quatermass to discover a secret government base and a horrifying secret. Bodysnatcher-esque story but more overtly horror focused. Like the first movie, it’s done in a grim documentary style, giving it a realistic quality, but builds to a bigger, more suspenseful climax. Donlevy still rubbish though.

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Flight (2012) Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle, Melissa Leo, Kelly Reilly, John Goodman, Bruce Greenwood. Dir: Robert Zemeckis.

A pilot safely crash lands his plane, saving lives, but was drunk and high at the time. Starting with bravura heart-racing crash sequence, this is a fascinating portrayal of addiction, with Washington putting in a performance that isn’t showy, but affecting and totally convincing.
Superbly played, written and directed.

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Bananas (1971) Woody Allen, Louise Lasser, Carlos Montalban, Natividad Abascal, Jacobo Morales. Dir: Woody Allen.

After being dumped, a lonely man travels to South America and gets involved in a revolution. Too scattergun to be considered satire, but admirably gag-heavy, with more hitting than missing. A fierce pace crams tons into 90 minutes and silent comedy sequences give early hints at Woody’s willingness to experiment.

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Hyde Park on Hudson (2012) Bill Murray, Laura Linney, Samuel West, Olivia Colman, Olivia Williams. Dir: Roger Mitchell.

President Roosevelt begins a new affair just as he is due to be visited by English royalty. Frustrating failure that can’t find its focus. It’s clear what scenes interested the makers; royal sequences are frequently delightful, Murray and West’s exchanges are particularly great. The romance, however, is flat and lifeless.

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Paul (2011) Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Sigourney Weaver, Jeffrey Tambor. Dir: Gregg Mottola.

Two geeks travelling across America encounter a real life alien. Almost entirely forgettable. Pegg and Frost’s humour seems to have been watered-down for the American market;bland and joke-starved, the characters are one-dimensional, the plot repetitive and dull. And Paul is not cute or funny, just irritating.

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Zero Dark Thirty (2012) Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Joel Edgerton, Mark Strong, Jennifer Ehle. Dir: Kathryn Bigelow.

A CIA agent obsessively pursues a lead for over 10 years in the hunt for Bin Laden. For my two-cents: Bigelow hardly endorses torture; it’s depicted ugly with the results of dubious value. Shows the hunt as grim and arduous, performed by obsessive, numbed, damaged people. Absolutely cracking drama.

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Serving Very Hot Food...

Comic Book Villain of the Week

Make-Up Man

Not actually a man of make-up, but a make-up expect. His real name is unknown, as is, apparently, his real face. He changes his appearance periodically; no one has seen his real face in over ten years.

Yet despite his skills with make-up, he in fact uses life-like robots to commit his crimes. He comes to the attention of the dynamic duo after robbing a jewellery store. Batman discovers Make-Up Man’s hideout, where the two do battle with his robots and a flying mask. Despite his skill with make-up, Make-Up Man uses a plethora of masks too.

Considering his incredible skills with robots and his ability to make mask fly, it’s possible that his moniker might just be underselling his abilities just a wee bit. He appeared only once.

 

January Film Highlights

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Jack Reacher (2012) Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, Richard Jenkins, Werner Herzog, David Oyelowo, Robert Duvall. Dir: Christopher McQuarrie.

A sniper kills 5 at random, and in his defense, simply asks for a man called Jack Reacher. Reasonably entertaining, but not very original and with cheese around the edges. Reacher is a typical know-it-all jack-of-all trades hero, but not an especially engaging one. Still, there are decent suspense/action sequences.

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Murder By Decree (1979) Christopher Plummer, James Mason, David Hemmings, Susan Clark, Frank Finlay, Anthony Quayle, Donald Sutherland. Dir: Bob Clark.

Holmes and Watson are called to investigate Jack the Ripper. Holmes believing a psychic or getting over-emotional over a case? There are plenty of uncharacteristic elements, less an interpretation of Holmes, more a misunderstanding of what makes the character work. A wobbly series of clues, but looks very handsome.

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Life of Pi (2012) Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, Tabu, Adil Hussain, Rafe Spall. Dir: Ang Lee.

When a boat carrying zoo animals sinks, a boy survivor is trapped on a lifeboat with a tiger. Simply gorgeous – proof that CGI and even 3D can be genuinely beautiful if used gracefully. An inspiring adaptation that has just the right balance of feel-good magic and darkness and danger.

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Magic (1978) Anthony Hopkins, Ann-Margret, Burgess Meredith, Ed Lauter, David Ogden Stiers. Dir: Richard Attenborough.

A ventriloquist rekindles and old romance and considers leaving showbiz, but what will his dummy think? The old mad ventriloquist/sinister dummy story; not desperately original, but it’s done well; the script is good, it’s briskly paced, well directed and scored. But the crowning touch is Hopkins, whose intensity is electrifying.

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The Impossible (2012) Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts, Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin, Oaklee Pendergast. Dir: J.A. Bayona.

 

A holidaying family are caught up in the Asian tsunami and must fight for their survival. At its best when at its starkest, but when it attempts the life-affirming and melodramatic, it arteface is revealed. Tsunami sequences are terrifying, but does seem to suggest white tourists were worst affected.

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Eyes Wide Shut (1999) Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Sydney Pollack, Marie Richardson, Todd Field. Dir: Stanley Kubrick.

When his wife confesses to fantasising about other men, a doctor goes on a dark journey of sexual discovery. Kubrick’s last is refreshingly character focused, which makes his signature detail and grandeur rather unnecessary - a simple story lengthy and overblown. Certainly intriguing and seductive, if a touch anti-climactic.

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Rear Window (1954) James Stewart, Grace Kelly, Wendell Corey, Thelma Ritter, Raymond Burr. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock.

A wheel-chair bound photographer suspects a neighbour of murder after spying on him from his window. One of the Hitchcock’s best; a superbly staged suspense thriller, that delivers not just edge-of-the-seat entertainment but one that works on multiple levels, exploring voyeurism, commitment and the nature of cinema. Ingenious, near perfect.

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Slade Flame (1975) Noddy Holder, Dave Hill, Don Powell, Jim Lea, Tom Conti, Alan Lake. Dir: Richard Loncraine.

New band Flame could be huge, with the right management… Considering Slade were amongst the most up-beat 70s acts, this is surprisingly grim, taking place in shabby clubs and crumbling suburbs, the band pawns of moneymen with little affection for them beyond profitability. Rough, but interesting piece of its time.

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Copy Fail: Marks and Spencer

It pains me to criticise a brand I have myself contributed to, if only briefly. But unless I am much mistaken, the concept of being taken “hook, line and sinker”, refers to swallowing the bait. As in being conned, or falling for some kind of trick or lie. Are we then to assume that Marks and Spencer have fallen for a policy which they know now to be a trick, a fiction, a fraud? And are choosing to stick with it?

It’s the worst kind of copywriting. An attempt at clever word play that pays no attention to context or meaning. Although I suppose believing in something is quite a lot different to actually doing something about it.

Comic Book Villain of the Week

Blue Snowman

While the comic book world wasslow to represent homosexuality in its titles, they were surprisingly quick to feature transsexual characters. In a puzzling case of wordplay, Byrna Brilyant is a school teacher who swiftly turns to crime when her father dies, bequeathing her an invention that makes “blue snow” – a gun that freezes anything that touches its blue ray.

She then took the identity of Blue Snowman, an interesting choice; not only did she choose to become a man, she chose to be a jowly, chubby, middle-aged man with a bowler hat. She/he also didn’t look much like a snowman either.

Rather unambitiously, she took to freezing farms and extorting money from the farmers in exchange for unfreezing them. She was defeated by Wonder Woman. She later joined a villain’s team, Villainy Inc, but was also defeated. The character made one of those “knowing” reappearances in 2010, where he/she had added a pipe to her/his arsenal of weaponry, presumably because it was masculine. After failing to steal a diamond, she/he was eaten by a monster.

Blue Snowman was not actually the first cross-dressing comic book character; she was proceeded by more than five years by heroes Red Tornado and Madame Fatal.