Movie Magic

Here is my review for the most recent film by director Woody Allen, "Match Point".

The most tedious waste of time I have ever had at a cinema. The thing about good screenwriting is that it has structure, it doesn't just go and on and on and on and on...until eventually it end which is what happened. It was bad enough that it was too long and very dull but it didn't bloody know where to end. This is supposed to be a great director, and he didn't know when to end that damn thing. There was an absolutly blindingly obviously good place to end it when the sequence which open the film was repeated, when a good a framing device wasted. Then meanders on into some, quite frankly, bizarre scenes with James Nesbitt as a light comedy detective with a hunch, The main character seeing and talking to ghosts.

Not that the rest of the film is any better. Just what we need, an American director making a film about the upperclasses. Another film which suggests everyone is repressed, rich, dreadfully nice and has a house in the country. Brian Cox, a fine actor, is wasted. Jonathon Rhys Meyers couldn't be more cold and unlikeable. His girlfried is wetter than the Atlantis Diving School but by the end you couldn't feel more sorry for her. I didn't believe for a second he was capable of killing her (yes I've spoiled the plot but its wank anyway) Scarlett Johansson's character is no brighter by any means. Despite some early chemisty between them both, by the end you would quite glad to see them all dead. The most satisfying ending would've been Johansson returning from the brink Action Hero style and gunning the lot of them em down in a bloody massacre.

The plot is unnoriginal and cliched and just tiresome. The only fun thing in the whole film is the long list of random cameos and some of those are pretty odd. And I think somebody would here it if you fired a shot gun in a london flat don't you - PLOT HOLE

Don't go and see this film. If you are a die hard Woody Allen fan and absolutly clinically need to see it download it or buy it from illegal means so as not to put money into the hands of the pillocks who made it.

These are professionals, talented people. Would could've possibly pocessed them to make such amateur crap.

So there

Coming Soon

Look out for my much less inflamatory article on Tom Hanks in the film magazine Movie Magic/Big Screen www.cornwallmoviemagic.com.