Scenes From Stoke: The Fenton Monument

Yes, it’s the Fenton monument. Centre piece of Fenton, which is far from the least important of Stoke-on-Trent’s 6 towns. The ‘Onward and Upward’ message perfectly encapsulates the spirit of a town which may not have a high street, but is totally like vibrant and full of life.

It may have been accidently forgotten about by Arnold Bennett when he wrote his famous books on the “Five Towns” but Fenton has so much to offer. Its important landmarks include the largest swimming pool in Staffordshire, the magistrates’ court, the...uhm Town Hall, and of course there’s the 6th Form College, where I had the pleasure of studying myself, although they’re going to move that down the road so it’s part of Staffordshire Uni. It did have a large part of the pottery industry, although that’s mostly gone – but they have a big KFC there too now; there was an armed robbery there once.

Oh but the people who still live must be able to draw constant inspiration from this inspiring monument, which is by no means gaudy, tacky, or a complete waste of time, effort and space. Hail to Fenton: ‘Onward & Upward’ the only place it has left to go.

August Films

Quantum of Solace (2008) Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Gemma Arterton, Judi Dench. Dir: Marc Foster.

Bond goes on a quest for revenge and tries to uncover an international criminal conspiracy. Keeps you entertained with one action set piece after another, but quickly disconnects you from the story, leaving you wondering what the point of it all was. Amalric is wasted.

DDDd

Straight on Till Morning (1974) Rita Tushingham, Shane Briant, James Bolam, Katya Wyath. Dir: Peter Collinson.

A Liverpool girl travels to London to find a man who can impregnate her, but meets a Peter Pan obsessed psychopath instead. Unconvincing suspense thriller, which is more memorable for the flashy and largely confusing cutting rather than any of the actual events. The ending does justify some of the wait.

DDD

The Queen (2006) Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Helen McRory, Sylvia Sims. Dir: Stephen Frears.

Blair tries to elicit a more emotional response from The Queen after Diana’s death. An interesting behind the scenes look at a bizarre time in British history, which manages to be sympathetic to almost all involved. Although it’s all so nice it’s difficult to see it as being authentic.

DDDD

Moon (2009) Sam Rockwell, Kevin Space, Dominique McElligott. Dir: Duncan Jones

Lone space station operator Rockwell starts to see things as his tour of duty ends. An old school intelligent sci-fi film which prioritises character and themes of morality and humanity over effects and easy thrills. Rockwell is brilliant in a difficult role, though the staging and shooting could’ve been more distinctive.

DDDDd

The Cat’s Meow (2002) Kirsten Dunst, Edward Herrmann, Eddie Izzard, Cary Elwes, Joanna Lumley. Dir: Peter Bogdanovich.

Plausible telling of the events surrounding film mogul Thomas Ince’s death on William Randolph Hearst’s yacht. Engaging and elegant period piece which tells of the developing dark side of money and the media in Hollywood in the 20s, but it leaves you wanting more. Izzard surprisingly good as Chaplin.

DDDD

Star Trek (2009) Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban. Dir: J.J.Abrams

Kirk, Spock et al take their first trip on the Enterprise and face a time travelling Romulan warmonger. Although it lacks the depth and morality of the original series, this reimaging is slick as hell. Colourful and fast paced, it reminds you just why these characters and their adventures were so popular in the first place.

DDDDd

The Warriors (1979) Michael Beck, James Remar, Deborah Van Valkenburgh, David Patrick Kelly. Dir: Walter Hill

Blamed for the death of a legendary leader, a New York gang is hunted as they try to return to their turf. Ridiculous at every level; the dialogue is wooden enough, the characters cardboard enough, the acting bad enough with scenes so stupid that cult classic status was guaranteed.

DD

From Dave's News Place...

Billionaire McDuck dies after fall...

It's nice to see them starting young...

And after that threat...

Dear Mr Nixon,


Julie will be returning from her holiday this weekend, and will be coming back to work next Monday. I had thought that Julie was returning last weekend, when she is in fact returning to work this weekend (consequently I had been mis-informing everybody that she was due to return last week when this was actually not the case, and this was a fault on my part).


Regards,

Louise

After waiting another week...

Dear Louise,



Have you spoken to your manager Julie Sullivan about 6 Johnstone yet? It is now almost 6 weeks since I moved in. If I don't hear back from you before this time next week I will arrange to have the flat cleaned and deduct the money from the rent. I have to live their and come home to the mess every single day, and I just won't tolerate it any longer.



Regards,


David Nixon.

So then...

Dear Mr Nixon,

My manager, Julie Sullivan, will be returning from her holiday on Friday and I will speak to her about the situation on her return. I would like her advice as to where to go from here.

Regards

Louise

So I said...

Dear Louise,

The furnishings and the amount of rent I’m paying are not the issue, the flat was not let in a clean fit state. The flat should’ve been properly cleaned before I’ve moved in, this is not an issue with improving the decor, the walls are filthy and require cleaning properly and would still need to be cleaned properly regardless of whether I paid more rent and had kept the place furnished.

I still do not understand why no action was taken before I moved in. It is clearly apparent from the inventory, even without my additions, that the flat was not adequately cleaned. If the previous tenant did not clean it adequately why was not money taken from their deposit to clean it?

Then of course after I moved in, my attempts to address the problem were ignored for three weeks until I contacted you. Now we are at a stage where I’ve been here for over a month and the landlady has only just been informed that there is a problem and cannot now afford to solve it.

I do not intend to suffer because Bairstow Eves has not been looking after this property properly. If the landlady cannot afford to have the flat cleaned then I will be forced to deduct the cost of having the place cleaned from the next month’s rent. This problem is not going to go away and unless you have another suggestion, I will just have to take matters into my own hands.


Kind regards,


David Nixon

And then...

Dear Mr Nixon,

I have received a telephone call from your Landlady this morning in relation to the cleaning issues raised. I'm afraid that she is not in a position financially to undertake any cleaning to the walls.

You specified as a condition of moving in that you would like the furniture removed and a reduction on the rent, which the Landlady agreed to do, but i'm afraid that she does not wish to undertake any work in terms of the decor at this time.

Kind Regards

Louise.

After making an appointment to see the flat, forgetting about it, apologising, and then coming to see it the next day...

Dear Mr Nixon,

Further to my visit to the flat last week, I have left messages for your Landlady to come back to me regarding the cleaning to the walls which we discussed, however she has not yet come back to me.

I have written a letter to her and will await her response.

Regards

Louise

My response was...

Dear Louise,

Thanks for keeping me updated with the situation. Please let me know as soon as you've contacted the landlady, naturally as this situation has persisted for a month now I'm keen to see it resolved as soon as possible.

As a mark of good faith, I'll see to it that the money for this month's rent is transferred today.

Kind regards,

David Nixon.

To be continued...

The unfolding flat cleanlines saga...

Dear Louise

I have made several adjustments to the inventory and would like to express in writing how dissatisfied I was with the condition of 6 Johnstone Court when I moved in on the 20th of June this year.

The flat had not been cleaned, it hadn’t even been hovered. I don’t have to describe the state of that flat, as for the most part, it is actually alluded to adequately within the inventory. The words ‘soiled’ or ‘heavily soiled’ appear 9 times, ‘Dirty’ and ‘Dusty’ appear 5 times each, and ‘mouldy’ 6 times. The words ‘scuffed’, ‘grubby’ and ‘damp’ also make several appearances. Yet despite this, no attempt has been made to rectify these problems. I’ve made several additions that further describe the problems with cleanliness in the flat.

Furthermore, the pictures included with the inventory are highly misleading. They don’t resemble the flat I moved into, they don’t even resemble the state of the flat when I viewed it a few weeks earlier – I have pictures which back this up. The inventory states that it was prepared on the 16th June 2009; these pictures cannot have been taken at that time. I have included some pictures of my own that better reflect the state of the flat when I moved in.

I have contacted the East Croydon branch numerous times in the past three weeks, yet no action has been taken. I emailed them pictures of the flat this last week, but no response has been received yet. I am deeply dissatisfied with the level of service I have received from Bairstow Eves. Unless this matter is resolved and 6 Johnstone Court is cleaned properly, I may be forced to withhold the rent. I do not wish to take this action, but I refuse to pay for a flat which is ‘heavily soiled’ and refuse to let Bairstow Eves ignore this problem any longer.


Yours sincerely


David Paul Nixon

This week's movies 14/07/09

Scenes from a Marriage (1973) Liv Ullmann, Erland Josephson, Bibi Andersson, Jan Malmsjo. Dir: Ingmar Bergman.

The breakdown of a marriage and its reconciliation of sorts. Impeccably scripted and very insightful drama of the complicated nature of human relationships, but a huge mouthful at 155 mins. Originally a six part series, and probably better viewed that way. Very impressive performances all ways round.

DDDDd

Marathon Man (1974) Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider. Dir: John Schlesinger

An aspiring marathon runner gets caught up in his brother’s involvement with diamond smugglers and an escaped nazi. Fairly tense thriller, but it’s hard to care about any of the characters in it. Hoffman is separated from the main action too long for his conflict to really resonate.

DDDd

Hobson’s Choice (1954) Charles Laughton, John Mills, Brenda Da Banzie, Prunella Scales. Dir: David Lean

A pompous and chauvinistic boot store owner gets his just desserts when his eldest daughter decides to marry his talented shoemaker. A pleasant treatment of a pleasant play. Hardly hilarious or exceptional, but Laughton does give it his all.

DDDd

200 posts and still going on...

Yes, Dave Paul’s Place is 200 posts old, it seems like only 3 years and 9 months ago that I sat down and was forced to start a blog because I was told to in a lecture. We should all have blog because we’re writers and we need to promote our work. And look at me now, writing about Viagra, penis pumps and lubricant*. It’s been slightly different this week, I've had the chance to rewrite 150 medication descriptions for an old site they're revamping. My favourite medication side effects are ‘dark urine’ and a ‘a heightened sense of fear’. It was a slight improvement on some of the medical bits and pieces I've edited before, one of which included ‘death’ as one of the more serious side effects.

Aims for the next 200 posts?** More complaining, obviously. More film and general reviewing/slagging things off. Using this blog as a sort of spring board for my creative side, probably the reason why I was told 3 years and 9 months ago to start the thing in the first place?

Well, I suppose I ought to, haven’t been that creative for, well, quite a long time now. But starting to get ideas again, wanting to get back into doing the kind of things that made me want to be a writer the first. Yes, I think I should do that...

In the meantime, pointless trivia anyone?

Phobia of the day: Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – the fear of the number 666

Delusion of the day: Intermetamorphosis – where someone is convinced that the people around them are able to switch identities with each other without changing their appearance.

Samuel Goldwynisms of the day: “Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.”

Quote of the day: "If you stay in a house and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the bannisters. Don't tell me you haven't tried it." – Paul Merton

Death of the day: Sergey Tuganov, who died after betting two girls he could have sex with them both for 12 hours. He won the bet, ($4300), and died moments later as result of overdosing on a whole bottle of Viagra.

*My lubricant buyers guide is due to go online at any time.
**Their completion will probably coincide with when Bairstow Eves actually gets their f****** act together and sends someone to clean my flat.

Some Films

DDDDDD – Exceptional and unparalleled
DDDDD – Excellent, a special film
DDDD – High enjoyable, recommended
DDD – Worth watching, but unexceptional or flawed
DD – Bland, dull, average
D – Cinematic cancer

The Wrestler (2009) Mickey Rourke, Maria Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood. Dir: Darren Aronofsky.

An ailing washed-up wrestler tries to rebuild a life for himself outside the ring. Rourke is simply perfect as a man who can only succeed in a world where all the conflicts are staged. A testament to the power of strong storytelling and spot-on casting.

DDDDD

One Million Years BC (1967) Raquel Welch, John Richardson, Percy Roberts, Robert Brown. Dir: Don Chaffrey

Banished from his tribe, Tumak meets Raquel Welch and joins her tribe before clashing with his old one. Amazing how often a giant dinosaur can sneak up behind you. Very silly, but worth seeing for the Harryhausen dinosaurs and that bikini.

DDD

Planet Terror (2007) Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Jeff Fahey. Dir: Robert Rodriguez

Part of the Grindhouse double bill, a go-go dancer quits her job then encounters her old boyfriend in a small town just before it’s invaded by zombies. Perhaps a little too knowing, but generally a great fun parody, though it would’ve been braver had it replicated the budgets of old.

DDDD

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Taraji P. Henson, Caroline Fuller. Dir: David Fincher

The life and loves of a man who ages backward, starting old and growing younger. An experiment in how many sentimental gimmicks you can squeeze into one film. Long, uneven and largely meaningless, it would’ve been better if Benjamin had a personality.

DDD

Che Part One (2008) Benicio Del Toro, Demian Bichir, Santiaga Cabrera, Vladimir Cruz. Dir: Steven Soderburgh.

The story of Che Guevera’s guerrilla campaign which led to the Cuban Revolution. Beautifully cinematic reconstruction of Guevera’s quest to liberate Cuba, which shows his beliefs, ideals and methodologies well, but offers very little insight into his personality, motivations or past.

DDDD

8½ (1963) Marcello Mastroianni, Claudia Cardinale, Anouk Aimée, Sandra Milo. Dir: Federico Fellini

A director embarks on his 8½ film, with no idea where it’s going or what it’s about. Witty, surreal and occasionally profound, Fellini strikingly dissects the creative process and how it can make someone face their own weaknesses, failings and vulnerabilities. There’s nothing quite like it.

DDDDDd

Bronson (2008) Tom Hardy, Matt King, Terry Stone, Amanda Burton. Dir: Nicolas Winding Refn

The life of Britain’s most violent and notorious prisoner. The darker side of the pursuit of fame, an imaginative, stark and occasionally surreal tale of a man trapped within the persona he made for himself. Hardy is electrifying as the lead – flipping from terrifying, hilarious and inevitably, to pitiful.

DDDDD

Dirty Harry (1971) Clint Eastwood, Harry Guardino, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson. Dir: Don Siegel

The first outing for Harry Callahan as he pursues a serial killer with little regard to the rules. So much of this has become cliché now, but it still remains an entertaining and exciting ride, even if it is a little hard to take too seriously.

DDDD

Knife in the Water (1962) Leon Niemczyk, Jolanta Umecka, Zygmunt Malanowicz. Dir: Roman Polanski

A cocky man invites a young drifter to join him and his wife for a yacht trip. Tense film of rivalry, dominance and sexual tension. Perhaps more interesting than exciting, but as a low budget debut thriller it really is quite impressive.

DDDD

A Moving Saga...

Moving is not fun. Having started a lower paying job in Croydon, far away from Ealing, I decided the best thing to do was to move, rather than stay in a far too expensive flat and commute for an hour and a half every day. And if I walk to work I could also save a bit of cash, make the pay cut more bearable*.

The first place I chose had another offer put on it, and after second look, I decided not to put in a larger offer. I decided on another flat, good location, decent condition, put an offer in, waited for the response. Agent contacted me about the first place, says the first offer hasn’t gone through, but I decide to stick with my new choice. After a short wait my offer is turned down, asked same estate agent about another property they showed me, they say they’ll call back. A different agent calls me up about a different property, which is quite far away. I decide to go see it just in case nothing works out.

It’s actually the nicest property I’ve seen. The other place I put an offer on is no longer available unfurnished. So I put an offer on the new place. The agent calls me back quickly and says one of the owners has accepted. I give him my details to put on the deposit as soon as he hears back from the other owner. Shortly after, I get a call about the place where my first offer was turned down, but has now been accepted. I decide against because I want beautiful new place.

But I don’t hear back about the new place, call back mid-Saturday afternoon but the agent still hasn’t had the go ahead from both parties. At 4 o’clock he calls back and says they’ve had a better offer. So I call back about the flat my offer was first turned down on but was then later accepted. Can I still get it, agent says she will check. Calls me back later says it’s is still available so I take it.

I spend two weeks of packing for an hour each evening after I get home at 8 o’clock having had to work late and commute 1 and half hours back to Ealing. Then I get extorted by my current estate agents who wants to charge me another referencing fee so they can give a reference to my new estate agents who are also charging me a referencing fee.

Then I have to pay double for a van, because they make you pay for both days of the weekend if you take it out on a Saturday. Then finally, after four hellish weeks of long commutes, house hunting and packing, I arrive at my new place to find that it hasn’t been cleaned, and behind all the furniture that used to be there, is damp.

So I call the estate agents on Monday and leave and message. Leave a message again on Tuesday. Finally get an apologetic call on Wednesday. Then hear nothing. Call back on Saturday, leave another message, no reply and the cycle of hell continues...


* Yes I know it’s more than the nothing I was getting before, I’m really enjoying being told that by everyone.

From Dave's News Place...

Media blames media for Boyle breakdown...

This week I have been mostly writing about....

So what did I write about in my first week? I had the pleasure of sticking it search-engine-optimisation wise to this impressive list of products:

Impotence drug, VigRX
Stop smoking drug, Champix
Collagen Eye Filler
Safetox, skincare treatment headset
Impotence drug, Cialix
Baldness drug, Propecia Finasteride
Hair removal spray, Ultra Hair Away
The ingrown hair treatment, Ingrow-Go
Home hair removel device, the Rio Scan laser
Sperm count increasing drug, Semenax
No! No! Skin – which is a spot remover, not a skin remover

Maybe I’ll get work on LondonGayman next week. Ooooh I can’t wait!

Breaking the Cycle

You may be disappointed to learn that I was unable to break my own unemployment record of 372 days by foolishly accepting a job in Croydon. Yes, it’s come to that, no one else would take me.

Alas, the pay is...modest. Not like one of the high-flying phenomenally waged jobs that I was interviewed for but failed to get. This is for a smallish ecommerce company that runs a variety of sites that stem from its medical origins, so that’s things like flu drugs, weight loss pills, vitamins, herbal remedies, that kind of thing.

They have promised to review my pay in 6 months so there’s a chance I may return to my former level of financial stability. And there’s some team leading, and some content management, and some SEO, so there’s a chance maybe someday in the future of pulling in the big bucks and I’ll be able to indulge myself more and enjoy more of life’s finer things.

Oh, did I mention that I’ll be writing about a lot of adult products, Viagra, penis and breast enlargements supplements, oh and there’s the really dirty stuff like vibrators, strap-ons and lubricant. Yes, I shall pretty much be able to write about anything once this over....

From Dave's News Place

"Success spotted at 2nd Wally fest"...

Death by Cinema

One does not usually count filmmaking as a particularly dangerous business. Yet in some extreme circumstances some actors and performers have met unfortunate ends whilst creating that Hollywood magic. As part of this blog’s re-established commitment to bringing anyone who looks at it pointless information, here is a list of films that, in most cases, really weren’t to die for...

Ben Hur (1925) – 1 dead + several horses. Numerous injuries incurred, many more rumoured.

Rumours persist about a death during the chariot scene in the Charlton Heston film, but it was this early silent effort that resulted in death. The production, the most expensive ever for a silent film, was plagued with disasters. The famous chariot race was shot in Italy in a recreation of the coliseum, but problems with the racing surface and with lighting made filming problematic. Horses were not treated well; any injured were taken out and shot. During one scene, a chariot’s wheels broke apart and the driver was thrown up in the air and landed on a pile of lumber, later dying of his injuries.

Many more deaths have been rumoured. Many local Italian extras for a sea battle scene lied about being able to swim, and to make things more troublesome, the extras were chosen for each battle side based upon whether they were for or against the fascist party in the hope of getting a real fight started. A staged fire also got out of control. Armour clad extras were forced to leap into the sea from a flaming triremes warship for escape the flames. Three men were unaccounted for after the incident, though they subsequently turned up several days later alive and well.

Trader Horn (1931) – 2 dead + many animal deaths. Several made seriously ill.

Important as the first film ever non-documentary film shot in Africa, the filmmakers were entirely unprepared for the realities of filming there. Numerous people, including the director, caught malaria. Lead actress Edwina Booth would find herself plagued by the disease for 6 years, effectively destroying her career. Two of the crew were even less lucky. An African crewmember fell into a river and was eaten by a crocodile, while another was trampled by a stampede of rhinos. This scene was sensitively kept in the film.

A second crew was sent to Mexico, where animal rights laws were lax, to stage several animal attack scenes. Lions were starved and then set upon hyenas, monkeys and deer.

The Twilight Zone (1983) – 3 dead.

Perhaps the most famous film accident next to Brandon Lee’s passing during the making of The Crow. Actor Vic Morrow and two Chinese child actors, both under ten and illegally hired, were killed when a low flying helicopter spun out of control after a pyrotechnic explosion . Morrow and one of the children were decapitated and the other child was crushed by the helicopter. As a result, helicopter stunts were discouraged in Hollywood for many years and child labour laws were revised. Director John Landis and several of the crew were charged with involuntary manslaughter, but were later acquitted.

Zeppelin (1971) – 4/5 dead.

This fairly unremarkable war drama featured Micheal York as a soldier who lives in England but was born in Germany. His unique background gives him the opportunity to do a bit of double-agenty style stuff and to effectively win Britain WW1. The film contains extensive effects and action shooting, and during one ill-fated sequence, a replica SE-5 biplane actually crashed into an Alouette helicopter killing four or five people, depending on which source you read.

The Conqueror (1956) – hard to determine.

Strictly speaking no one actually died during the filming of The Conqueror, but the film would have a lasting and terrible effect on many of those involved, and not just because of John Wayne’s turn as Genghis Khan. The movie was shot a hundred and thirty miles downwind from a nuclear testing site (John Wayne was pictured with a Geiger counter during filming) but little was known about the links between radiation and cancer back then.

Director Dick Powell died within the first two years of filming. Susan Haywood, John Wayne and Agnes Moorehead would all die during the 70s. Cast member John Hoyt died from lung cancer in the 1990s. Actor Pedro Armendariz, on learning he had terminal kidney cancer, shot himself in the head. By 1980, 91 members of the crew had developed cancer, and half of those had already died from it. Though many of the crew were smokers, it’s estimated that in a group this size only about 30 would have developed a cancer.

Sand from the site was later taken back to the studio for re-shoots. Numerous extras, family members and others visited the site during filming, making the real number of people effected hard to determine.