And my response was...

Dear Kelly

RE: 6 Johnstone Court

I appreciate that withholding the rent is against the tenancy agreement. However, as I pointed out in my previous letter, the damp in the flat contravenes the Housing Act 2004. The damp was noted in the inventory, but this was ignored, clearly someone either working for or on behalf of Bairstow Eves thought it simply did not matter, yet you now you write to me asking me to fulfil my obligations.

I am pleased that you have contacted Atlas to inspect the damp and I have arranged for them to visit the property on Tuesday the 15th September. This action, however, is only being taken because I have withheld the rent. When I was paying my rent, staff at Bairstow Eves were quite happy to not return my calls and ignore my emails. If Atlas do recommend action, what guarantee have I that their recommendations will be followed? If I could trust the Bairstow Eves East Croydon Lettings office to take action, I would happily pay the rent; however, experience has taught me that I cannot.

In regard to the Landlady’s comments, I am not asking for the flat to be painted or decorated. I am asking for it to be cleaned and to be cleaned properly, which is quite different. I was not aware that any deal had taken place to allow me to rent the property at a lower price on the condition no work was done on the interior. There is certainly no mention of it in the contract. Had I have known of such a condition, I would certainly not have expected it to extend to accepting the flat with dirt and damp on walls and would not have accepted the offer if I did.

This is not the first property I have rented. The properties I have rented before were clean and presented in a good condition when I moved in. I do not see why this property should be any different. The laissez-faire attitude and low standards of service offered by Bairstow Eves lettings have been extremely disappointing. I suggest that you view the pictures I sent back with the inventory and if possible share them with the landlady. I would then ask you both to consider the pictures and to ask yourselves honestly whether you would be happy to move into a property presented in such a condition.

I would certainly consider the landlady’s offer to release me from the contract, but I would only consider vacating the property if the agency fees I paid were refunded in full.

I would appreciate it if you would forward a copy of this letter onto the landlady.

Kind regards,


David Nixon.

And so they said....

Dear Mr Nixon,

Thank you for your letter dated 6th September.

We would like to advise that by withholding your rental payment you are in fact in breach of your tenancy agreement and would therefore request that payment be made without delay.

Further more we would like to advise that we have instructed a damp specialist company called Atlas Timber to contact you directly for an appointment to visit the property and investigate the problems you have reported and then come back to us with their findings.

We have informed the landlady of the above and also copied your letter to her. Your landlady has asked us to highlight to you that she made if very clear before the tenancy commenced that she was not in a position to offer any redecoration but did fact accept a much lower rental to reflect this. She has also confirmed that she has given her permission for you to decorate the flat at your own expense providing the colours are kept neutral and the work is done to a professional standard.

Your landlady has confirmed to us that she would be happy to release you from the contract immediate effect should you wish to vacate. If this is the case please confirm in writing to us.

Yours sincerely

Kelly....

An insight into the kind of thing I do on a regular basis...

My response was as follows...

Dear Louise


RE: 6 Johnstone Court

I received a letter this week signed by you requesting the payment of overdue rent. You know full well why the rent has not been paid for 6 Johnstone Court. I have been requesting help from yourself and other members of the Bairstow Eves staff for over 2 months now in the hope of resolving the poor cleanliness issues within this property, yet little or no action has been taken. I have been forced therefore to withhold the rent as I have been left in no doubt that no action will be taken unless there is a financial incentive.

Furthermore, I am also writing to inform you that I intend to report the property and the landlady to the Department of Environmental Health and the Trading Stands Authority as the damp within contravenes the Housing Act 2004 and could also be a potential health and safety risk.



Yours sincerely,

David Nixon

After some weeks, I received this letter....

Dear Mr Nixon

RENT REMINDER

Outstanding Arrears: £600.10*

Due: 20th August 2009

PLEASE REMIT BY RETURN

We regret to inform you that your rent is now overdue and would request that the outstanding amount is paid immediately and that all future rental payments are made on the due dates.

If these arrears are not paid, further action will be taken against you which could result in you incurring additional costs and an administration fee of £25.00 plus VAT per letter.

If you have already forwarded payment to us within the last few days, please disregard this letter and we apologise for troubling you.

Yours sincerely

Louise

* It’s actually £625. Can’t even get that right...

Scenes From Stoke: The Fenton Monument

Yes, it’s the Fenton monument. Centre piece of Fenton, which is far from the least important of Stoke-on-Trent’s 6 towns. The ‘Onward and Upward’ message perfectly encapsulates the spirit of a town which may not have a high street, but is totally like vibrant and full of life.

It may have been accidently forgotten about by Arnold Bennett when he wrote his famous books on the “Five Towns” but Fenton has so much to offer. Its important landmarks include the largest swimming pool in Staffordshire, the magistrates’ court, the...uhm Town Hall, and of course there’s the 6th Form College, where I had the pleasure of studying myself, although they’re going to move that down the road so it’s part of Staffordshire Uni. It did have a large part of the pottery industry, although that’s mostly gone – but they have a big KFC there too now; there was an armed robbery there once.

Oh but the people who still live must be able to draw constant inspiration from this inspiring monument, which is by no means gaudy, tacky, or a complete waste of time, effort and space. Hail to Fenton: ‘Onward & Upward’ the only place it has left to go.

August Films

Quantum of Solace (2008) Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Gemma Arterton, Judi Dench. Dir: Marc Foster.

Bond goes on a quest for revenge and tries to uncover an international criminal conspiracy. Keeps you entertained with one action set piece after another, but quickly disconnects you from the story, leaving you wondering what the point of it all was. Amalric is wasted.

DDDd

Straight on Till Morning (1974) Rita Tushingham, Shane Briant, James Bolam, Katya Wyath. Dir: Peter Collinson.

A Liverpool girl travels to London to find a man who can impregnate her, but meets a Peter Pan obsessed psychopath instead. Unconvincing suspense thriller, which is more memorable for the flashy and largely confusing cutting rather than any of the actual events. The ending does justify some of the wait.

DDD

The Queen (2006) Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Helen McRory, Sylvia Sims. Dir: Stephen Frears.

Blair tries to elicit a more emotional response from The Queen after Diana’s death. An interesting behind the scenes look at a bizarre time in British history, which manages to be sympathetic to almost all involved. Although it’s all so nice it’s difficult to see it as being authentic.

DDDD

Moon (2009) Sam Rockwell, Kevin Space, Dominique McElligott. Dir: Duncan Jones

Lone space station operator Rockwell starts to see things as his tour of duty ends. An old school intelligent sci-fi film which prioritises character and themes of morality and humanity over effects and easy thrills. Rockwell is brilliant in a difficult role, though the staging and shooting could’ve been more distinctive.

DDDDd

The Cat’s Meow (2002) Kirsten Dunst, Edward Herrmann, Eddie Izzard, Cary Elwes, Joanna Lumley. Dir: Peter Bogdanovich.

Plausible telling of the events surrounding film mogul Thomas Ince’s death on William Randolph Hearst’s yacht. Engaging and elegant period piece which tells of the developing dark side of money and the media in Hollywood in the 20s, but it leaves you wanting more. Izzard surprisingly good as Chaplin.

DDDD

Star Trek (2009) Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban. Dir: J.J.Abrams

Kirk, Spock et al take their first trip on the Enterprise and face a time travelling Romulan warmonger. Although it lacks the depth and morality of the original series, this reimaging is slick as hell. Colourful and fast paced, it reminds you just why these characters and their adventures were so popular in the first place.

DDDDd

The Warriors (1979) Michael Beck, James Remar, Deborah Van Valkenburgh, David Patrick Kelly. Dir: Walter Hill

Blamed for the death of a legendary leader, a New York gang is hunted as they try to return to their turf. Ridiculous at every level; the dialogue is wooden enough, the characters cardboard enough, the acting bad enough with scenes so stupid that cult classic status was guaranteed.

DD

From Dave's News Place...

Billionaire McDuck dies after fall...

It's nice to see them starting young...

And after that threat...

Dear Mr Nixon,


Julie will be returning from her holiday this weekend, and will be coming back to work next Monday. I had thought that Julie was returning last weekend, when she is in fact returning to work this weekend (consequently I had been mis-informing everybody that she was due to return last week when this was actually not the case, and this was a fault on my part).


Regards,

Louise

After waiting another week...

Dear Louise,



Have you spoken to your manager Julie Sullivan about 6 Johnstone yet? It is now almost 6 weeks since I moved in. If I don't hear back from you before this time next week I will arrange to have the flat cleaned and deduct the money from the rent. I have to live their and come home to the mess every single day, and I just won't tolerate it any longer.



Regards,


David Nixon.

So then...

Dear Mr Nixon,

My manager, Julie Sullivan, will be returning from her holiday on Friday and I will speak to her about the situation on her return. I would like her advice as to where to go from here.

Regards

Louise

So I said...

Dear Louise,

The furnishings and the amount of rent I’m paying are not the issue, the flat was not let in a clean fit state. The flat should’ve been properly cleaned before I’ve moved in, this is not an issue with improving the decor, the walls are filthy and require cleaning properly and would still need to be cleaned properly regardless of whether I paid more rent and had kept the place furnished.

I still do not understand why no action was taken before I moved in. It is clearly apparent from the inventory, even without my additions, that the flat was not adequately cleaned. If the previous tenant did not clean it adequately why was not money taken from their deposit to clean it?

Then of course after I moved in, my attempts to address the problem were ignored for three weeks until I contacted you. Now we are at a stage where I’ve been here for over a month and the landlady has only just been informed that there is a problem and cannot now afford to solve it.

I do not intend to suffer because Bairstow Eves has not been looking after this property properly. If the landlady cannot afford to have the flat cleaned then I will be forced to deduct the cost of having the place cleaned from the next month’s rent. This problem is not going to go away and unless you have another suggestion, I will just have to take matters into my own hands.


Kind regards,


David Nixon

And then...

Dear Mr Nixon,

I have received a telephone call from your Landlady this morning in relation to the cleaning issues raised. I'm afraid that she is not in a position financially to undertake any cleaning to the walls.

You specified as a condition of moving in that you would like the furniture removed and a reduction on the rent, which the Landlady agreed to do, but i'm afraid that she does not wish to undertake any work in terms of the decor at this time.

Kind Regards

Louise.

After making an appointment to see the flat, forgetting about it, apologising, and then coming to see it the next day...

Dear Mr Nixon,

Further to my visit to the flat last week, I have left messages for your Landlady to come back to me regarding the cleaning to the walls which we discussed, however she has not yet come back to me.

I have written a letter to her and will await her response.

Regards

Louise

My response was...

Dear Louise,

Thanks for keeping me updated with the situation. Please let me know as soon as you've contacted the landlady, naturally as this situation has persisted for a month now I'm keen to see it resolved as soon as possible.

As a mark of good faith, I'll see to it that the money for this month's rent is transferred today.

Kind regards,

David Nixon.

To be continued...

The unfolding flat cleanlines saga...

Dear Louise

I have made several adjustments to the inventory and would like to express in writing how dissatisfied I was with the condition of 6 Johnstone Court when I moved in on the 20th of June this year.

The flat had not been cleaned, it hadn’t even been hovered. I don’t have to describe the state of that flat, as for the most part, it is actually alluded to adequately within the inventory. The words ‘soiled’ or ‘heavily soiled’ appear 9 times, ‘Dirty’ and ‘Dusty’ appear 5 times each, and ‘mouldy’ 6 times. The words ‘scuffed’, ‘grubby’ and ‘damp’ also make several appearances. Yet despite this, no attempt has been made to rectify these problems. I’ve made several additions that further describe the problems with cleanliness in the flat.

Furthermore, the pictures included with the inventory are highly misleading. They don’t resemble the flat I moved into, they don’t even resemble the state of the flat when I viewed it a few weeks earlier – I have pictures which back this up. The inventory states that it was prepared on the 16th June 2009; these pictures cannot have been taken at that time. I have included some pictures of my own that better reflect the state of the flat when I moved in.

I have contacted the East Croydon branch numerous times in the past three weeks, yet no action has been taken. I emailed them pictures of the flat this last week, but no response has been received yet. I am deeply dissatisfied with the level of service I have received from Bairstow Eves. Unless this matter is resolved and 6 Johnstone Court is cleaned properly, I may be forced to withhold the rent. I do not wish to take this action, but I refuse to pay for a flat which is ‘heavily soiled’ and refuse to let Bairstow Eves ignore this problem any longer.


Yours sincerely


David Paul Nixon

This week's movies 14/07/09

Scenes from a Marriage (1973) Liv Ullmann, Erland Josephson, Bibi Andersson, Jan Malmsjo. Dir: Ingmar Bergman.

The breakdown of a marriage and its reconciliation of sorts. Impeccably scripted and very insightful drama of the complicated nature of human relationships, but a huge mouthful at 155 mins. Originally a six part series, and probably better viewed that way. Very impressive performances all ways round.

DDDDd

Marathon Man (1974) Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider. Dir: John Schlesinger

An aspiring marathon runner gets caught up in his brother’s involvement with diamond smugglers and an escaped nazi. Fairly tense thriller, but it’s hard to care about any of the characters in it. Hoffman is separated from the main action too long for his conflict to really resonate.

DDDd

Hobson’s Choice (1954) Charles Laughton, John Mills, Brenda Da Banzie, Prunella Scales. Dir: David Lean

A pompous and chauvinistic boot store owner gets his just desserts when his eldest daughter decides to marry his talented shoemaker. A pleasant treatment of a pleasant play. Hardly hilarious or exceptional, but Laughton does give it his all.

DDDd

200 posts and still going on...

Yes, Dave Paul’s Place is 200 posts old, it seems like only 3 years and 9 months ago that I sat down and was forced to start a blog because I was told to in a lecture. We should all have blog because we’re writers and we need to promote our work. And look at me now, writing about Viagra, penis pumps and lubricant*. It’s been slightly different this week, I've had the chance to rewrite 150 medication descriptions for an old site they're revamping. My favourite medication side effects are ‘dark urine’ and a ‘a heightened sense of fear’. It was a slight improvement on some of the medical bits and pieces I've edited before, one of which included ‘death’ as one of the more serious side effects.

Aims for the next 200 posts?** More complaining, obviously. More film and general reviewing/slagging things off. Using this blog as a sort of spring board for my creative side, probably the reason why I was told 3 years and 9 months ago to start the thing in the first place?

Well, I suppose I ought to, haven’t been that creative for, well, quite a long time now. But starting to get ideas again, wanting to get back into doing the kind of things that made me want to be a writer the first. Yes, I think I should do that...

In the meantime, pointless trivia anyone?

Phobia of the day: Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – the fear of the number 666

Delusion of the day: Intermetamorphosis – where someone is convinced that the people around them are able to switch identities with each other without changing their appearance.

Samuel Goldwynisms of the day: “Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.”

Quote of the day: "If you stay in a house and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the bannisters. Don't tell me you haven't tried it." – Paul Merton

Death of the day: Sergey Tuganov, who died after betting two girls he could have sex with them both for 12 hours. He won the bet, ($4300), and died moments later as result of overdosing on a whole bottle of Viagra.

*My lubricant buyers guide is due to go online at any time.
**Their completion will probably coincide with when Bairstow Eves actually gets their f****** act together and sends someone to clean my flat.

Some Films

DDDDDD – Exceptional and unparalleled
DDDDD – Excellent, a special film
DDDD – High enjoyable, recommended
DDD – Worth watching, but unexceptional or flawed
DD – Bland, dull, average
D – Cinematic cancer

The Wrestler (2009) Mickey Rourke, Maria Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood. Dir: Darren Aronofsky.

An ailing washed-up wrestler tries to rebuild a life for himself outside the ring. Rourke is simply perfect as a man who can only succeed in a world where all the conflicts are staged. A testament to the power of strong storytelling and spot-on casting.

DDDDD

One Million Years BC (1967) Raquel Welch, John Richardson, Percy Roberts, Robert Brown. Dir: Don Chaffrey

Banished from his tribe, Tumak meets Raquel Welch and joins her tribe before clashing with his old one. Amazing how often a giant dinosaur can sneak up behind you. Very silly, but worth seeing for the Harryhausen dinosaurs and that bikini.

DDD

Planet Terror (2007) Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Jeff Fahey. Dir: Robert Rodriguez

Part of the Grindhouse double bill, a go-go dancer quits her job then encounters her old boyfriend in a small town just before it’s invaded by zombies. Perhaps a little too knowing, but generally a great fun parody, though it would’ve been braver had it replicated the budgets of old.

DDDD

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Taraji P. Henson, Caroline Fuller. Dir: David Fincher

The life and loves of a man who ages backward, starting old and growing younger. An experiment in how many sentimental gimmicks you can squeeze into one film. Long, uneven and largely meaningless, it would’ve been better if Benjamin had a personality.

DDD

Che Part One (2008) Benicio Del Toro, Demian Bichir, Santiaga Cabrera, Vladimir Cruz. Dir: Steven Soderburgh.

The story of Che Guevera’s guerrilla campaign which led to the Cuban Revolution. Beautifully cinematic reconstruction of Guevera’s quest to liberate Cuba, which shows his beliefs, ideals and methodologies well, but offers very little insight into his personality, motivations or past.

DDDD

8½ (1963) Marcello Mastroianni, Claudia Cardinale, Anouk Aimée, Sandra Milo. Dir: Federico Fellini

A director embarks on his 8½ film, with no idea where it’s going or what it’s about. Witty, surreal and occasionally profound, Fellini strikingly dissects the creative process and how it can make someone face their own weaknesses, failings and vulnerabilities. There’s nothing quite like it.

DDDDDd

Bronson (2008) Tom Hardy, Matt King, Terry Stone, Amanda Burton. Dir: Nicolas Winding Refn

The life of Britain’s most violent and notorious prisoner. The darker side of the pursuit of fame, an imaginative, stark and occasionally surreal tale of a man trapped within the persona he made for himself. Hardy is electrifying as the lead – flipping from terrifying, hilarious and inevitably, to pitiful.

DDDDD

Dirty Harry (1971) Clint Eastwood, Harry Guardino, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson. Dir: Don Siegel

The first outing for Harry Callahan as he pursues a serial killer with little regard to the rules. So much of this has become cliché now, but it still remains an entertaining and exciting ride, even if it is a little hard to take too seriously.

DDDD

Knife in the Water (1962) Leon Niemczyk, Jolanta Umecka, Zygmunt Malanowicz. Dir: Roman Polanski

A cocky man invites a young drifter to join him and his wife for a yacht trip. Tense film of rivalry, dominance and sexual tension. Perhaps more interesting than exciting, but as a low budget debut thriller it really is quite impressive.

DDDD

A Moving Saga...

Moving is not fun. Having started a lower paying job in Croydon, far away from Ealing, I decided the best thing to do was to move, rather than stay in a far too expensive flat and commute for an hour and a half every day. And if I walk to work I could also save a bit of cash, make the pay cut more bearable*.

The first place I chose had another offer put on it, and after second look, I decided not to put in a larger offer. I decided on another flat, good location, decent condition, put an offer in, waited for the response. Agent contacted me about the first place, says the first offer hasn’t gone through, but I decide to stick with my new choice. After a short wait my offer is turned down, asked same estate agent about another property they showed me, they say they’ll call back. A different agent calls me up about a different property, which is quite far away. I decide to go see it just in case nothing works out.

It’s actually the nicest property I’ve seen. The other place I put an offer on is no longer available unfurnished. So I put an offer on the new place. The agent calls me back quickly and says one of the owners has accepted. I give him my details to put on the deposit as soon as he hears back from the other owner. Shortly after, I get a call about the place where my first offer was turned down, but has now been accepted. I decide against because I want beautiful new place.

But I don’t hear back about the new place, call back mid-Saturday afternoon but the agent still hasn’t had the go ahead from both parties. At 4 o’clock he calls back and says they’ve had a better offer. So I call back about the flat my offer was first turned down on but was then later accepted. Can I still get it, agent says she will check. Calls me back later says it’s is still available so I take it.

I spend two weeks of packing for an hour each evening after I get home at 8 o’clock having had to work late and commute 1 and half hours back to Ealing. Then I get extorted by my current estate agents who wants to charge me another referencing fee so they can give a reference to my new estate agents who are also charging me a referencing fee.

Then I have to pay double for a van, because they make you pay for both days of the weekend if you take it out on a Saturday. Then finally, after four hellish weeks of long commutes, house hunting and packing, I arrive at my new place to find that it hasn’t been cleaned, and behind all the furniture that used to be there, is damp.

So I call the estate agents on Monday and leave and message. Leave a message again on Tuesday. Finally get an apologetic call on Wednesday. Then hear nothing. Call back on Saturday, leave another message, no reply and the cycle of hell continues...


* Yes I know it’s more than the nothing I was getting before, I’m really enjoying being told that by everyone.