Dave Paul's Place

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009): Heath Ledger, Christopher Plummer, Tom Waits, Lily Cole, Verne Troyer, Andrew Garfield. Dir: Terry Gilliam.

Plummer is an immortal master of a portal to the imagination, but a deal with the devil could cost him his daughter. Quintessential Gilliam, the visuals have his dazzling individual touch, but the details of the plot are confusing and not always easy to comprehend. Multiple viewings may well help.

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300 (2007) Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham. Dir: Zack Snyder.

300 brave Spartans go up against the demonic Persian army. A film that makes He-Man look profound. The action and violence is dazzlingly realised but quickly becomes monotonous and incessant. Fans of bad dialogue and big men in pants will get the most out of it.

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Hail the Conquering Hero (1944) Eddie Bracken, Ella Raines, William Demarest. Dir: Preston Sturges.

A young soldier returning from the war is hailed as a hero, even though he was discharged before even shipping out. Smart and sharp comedy about the nature of hero worship. Fast paced and well performed, they just don’t make em like this anymore.

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Nosferatu (1922) Max Schreck, Gustav von Wangenheim, Greta Schröder, Alexander Granach. Dir: F.W. Murnau.

Legendary illegal adaptation of Bram Stoker’s classic. Brilliantly realised with its sinister shadows and creepy sets, it may no longer terrify, but it’s striking scenes unforgettable. The gruesome depiction of the Count is refreshingly original, so far from today’s bland teenage bunch.

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The Brides of Dracula (1960) Peter Cushing, Martita Hunt, Yvonne Monlaur, David Peel. Dir: Terence Fisher.

Having vanquished Dracula, Van Helsing comes to the aid of a woman who is being pursued by a handsome vampire. One of Hammer’s best; well paced, with some good characters and a few nasty twists. Cushing is in particularly dynamic good form; only Lee is missing, Peel doesn’t cut it.

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Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix (2007) Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Imelda Staunton, Gary Oldman. Dir: David Yates.

As Voldemort gathers his forces, Harry is left persecuted from all corners and unable to fight. The most satisfying of the Potter films to date; the adaptation is superior, feeling less obviously paired down from a lengthier work. The darker themes are engaging, the characters strong and the finale impressive.

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Macbeth (1948) Orson Welles, Jeanette Nolan, Dan O'Herlihy, Roddy McDowall. Dir: Orson Welles.

Shot in 3 weeks and for little money; Welles’ version is condensed, the speeches long but rushed through, making it hard to follow. Some of the acting is uneven. But the mist filled, foreboding sets and grim shadows give the film a sense of dark spectacle and power that is unmatched in other adaptations.

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Council recommends slimmer Santas

Yes, I have grown a moustache for charity. It’s rather fetching I think you’ll agree. I’ve been described as now looking like a gypsy fist fighter, and, when I’m wearing my hat, as a 19th century sex offender.

Anyway, besides just trying it for the sake of trying it, I’m doing this for charity. Specifically, for The Prostate Cancer Charity. So please donate generously by clicking here and by hitting donate – not only to advance the treatment of this condition, but also to acknowledge that my moustache is way better than anyone else’s at work by helping me to raise more money than anyone else.

Please be generous.

Essentially yes, I found a place, set a date, notified those Bairstow Eves bastards, and left. They put up no fight; just let me know how much I still owed them. I alas, have had to pay because otherwise I get a nasty red mark on my credit history that will f**k me up whenever I rent in the future, or should I attempt at some point to attempt to get a mortgage*.

They of course are denying me any financial compensation for letting a property which contravened housing regulations and are not taking any responsibility for doing so. I shall in due course be taking action against them with trading standards and other regulatory bodies in the coming weeks. Any progress will of course be reported.

My new property is much nicer, bigger, though more pricey, although I haven’t figured out how to put the heating on a timer yet, and if it comes on randomly at night (which it does) it makes too much of a f**king racket for me to be able to sleep. Other than that, pretty damn nice all in all.

Anyway, moving has of course meant the disconnection of my internet so further blogging will remain scarce for another week or more. But believe me, once I’m back online I will be back with a vengeance - oh yes.... a vengeance.


*I aiming for the year 2020, maybe 2022 to save up more for the deposit.

Dear Kelly,

Although I am glad that the landlady has finally decided to take some action, I resent the notion that this is an act of ‘good will’. THE PROPERTY SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEANED BEFORE I MOVED IN!

I find it absolutely staggering that a high-street estate agent can be so complacent in letting a property which is so obviously below an acceptable standard of cleanliness. The inventory that was performed prior to me moving in mentions the word soiled 9 times, dusty 5 times, dirty 6 times, mouldy 6 times, scuffed 3 times, damp twice and grubby once, and this was before the furniture was taken out, revealing more serious damp. In my last letter I asked you and the landlady to look at the pictures I sent back with inventory and to ask yourselves whether you would be happy to live in a property in this condition. You have not responded to this question, which is very conspicuous.

Employing a cleaner to ‘attempt’ to clean ‘some’ of the areas is totally unacceptable. It is the landlady’s responsibility to take care of this problem. Even though the damp has been described as ‘condensation’ I would still be well in my rights to report the property to the environmental health department if it were not removed.

I am tired of this farce. I have now decided to vacate 6 Johnstone Court. However, before I move out I want my agency fees refunded in full. I moved into the property in good faith. Bairstow Eves Lettings let the property, despite the comments in the inventory relating to dirt, mould and damp, thus violating housing regulations and potentially putting my health at risk. You then offered a truly abysmal level of customer service by ignoring my phone calls and emails for two months, further putting my health at risk, and then only responding to my complaints until after I stopped paying rent. If all my fees are returned, then I will pay all outstanding arrears, unless of course you do consider this to an acceptable way for an estate agent to fulfil their responsibilities. If not, then an apology would also be appropriate.

Regards,


David Nixon

Dear Mr Nixon

Further to our recent correspondence, please find attached the results of the damp inspection recently carried out at the above property by Atlas Timber Preservation Ltd.

The report states that there is no damp in the property and that the black spots present are formed from condensation

We have reported the above to the Landlord and she has agreed that, as a gesture of good will, on receipt of the rental being brought up to date, she will either instruct a cleaner to attempt to clean some of the worst affected areas or will contribute £50.00 towards the cost of decorating materials upon receipts being provided.

Should you choose to redecorate yourself the work must be done to a professional standard and the colours must be in a neutral shade.

However should you still decide you would like to vacate the property you will need to confirm to us in writing and the landlord will release you from the contract. Please note that should you decide to vacate the property we will not make any charges to you for breaking the contract early.

Lastly, if you decide to remain at the property we would ask that you please bring your arrears up to date with immediate effect and also reinstate the standing order, as per the terms of your tenancy agreement.

Yours sincerely,

Kelly.