Thursday, June 28, 2007

Leaving Soon

Because I don't currently have any money left, I'm having to pack up my things and leave Cornwall and move back to Stoke-on-Trent

Let me illustrate how much I'm dreading this move.

I will swapping views such as this:

For views such as this:

Ok, so I've made the pictures black and white, selected the worst pictures I could find, and admittedly some of these buildings have been pulled down since I took the pictures. BUT the point is that Stoke sucks and there's nothing to do and if I'm there for very long I shall want to kill myself.

Delusions of the Day: Cotard Delusion - where a person holds the irrational belief that they are either dead, do not exist or have lost all their internal organs.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

A Long Story

My Opus is complete:

16 months of hards work is over.

289 pages, composing of 17 complete chapters & 1 prologue written in arial size 11, one and a half line spaced.

That's a total 118,644 words

That's at least 30,000 above the average.

I might decide to do a little editing, but at the minute I'm thinking f**k it, if I want it to be long, it's going to stay f**king long.

Me and Ron are off to celebrate

Thursday, June 14, 2007

I'm Not Ashamed Of It!

Yes that's right, I went to see the Pet Shop Boys last week, and I'm proud of it damn it. Pure entertainment that's what it was.

Almost two hours of quality fun, I don't care what anyone says about them!!!


I can assure you that's a mike stand that Tennant's holding.

If you're like me and desperate to know who made it to the no1 spot in the poll of the top 100 Belgians then click here now. It took me by surprise I can tell you.

Samuel Goldwynism's of the day:

“In two words, im-possible.”
“Can she sing? She’s practically a Florence Nightingale.”
“Why did you name him Sam? Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!”

Saturday, June 09, 2007

More Great Stuff

In brief, here are some more examples of classic, highly professional movie making, all freely downloadable via the public domain. Ok, so technically virually anything can be downloaded freely over the net, but these are pretty quick and easy.

Mad Monster
A man scientist, disgraced by his peers but also a genius (naturally) injects his dimwitted servant (doesn't he know he has rights?) with a syrum that turns him into a werewolf. Anarchy, dumb people who can't figure it out and lots of running about from one place to the next, often not quite in the nick time, ensues. The bit where he sits and has a fantasy arguement with the ghostly apparitions people who wronged him is good. Keep an ear out for those meaningful references to the war.

The Brain That Wouldn't Die
Mad scientist interested in mutation and all that lark is involved in an accident alongside his beautiful girlfriend (who doesn't mind that he's a nutcase). She is decapitated, so he takes her head back to his lab in bag, puts in a dish of liquid to keep it alive and goes on the hunt for another woman whose body he can steal and stick the head back on. Meanwhile, his girlfriend's head develops psychic powers and begins to communicate with the experiment he keeps locked up in the cupboard...

a>Invisible Ghost
Bela Lugosi is an old man (not a mad scientist) who misses his dead wife. The secret he doesn't know is that she was having an affair with another man and was killed in a car crash on the way to see her new boyfriend. What he also doesn't know is that the gardner found her body alive and is keeping her locked in the basement because she's a bit nuts. And he also doesn't know that she keeps escaping and everytime that sees her in the garden, he goes crazy and very very slowly goes to kill someone.

And if you thought that all made sense, just try watching till the end. Lugosi's performance is so effortless that it's, well, effortless. Oh and there's no ghost, although if it was Invisible I suppose we wouldn't be able to see it or know it was there.

The Corpse Vanishes
Bela Lugosi is a mad scientist (and all is right with the world) must extract the blood of young brides to keep his ailing wife alive. On their wedding day, he sends them a beautiful orchid which knocks them unconcious and then kidnaps them with the help of dwarf assistant. If you want to know exactly why any of this is happening, watching the film won't actually help. And I'm fairly sure they're not corpses when they vanish either.

Bela Lugosi Meet A Brooklyn Gorilla
According to Martin Landau who played Lugosi in the movie 'Ed Wood' this film made the Ed Wood films look like masterpieces in comparison. You have been warned...

Friday, June 01, 2007

The Pain Of It All

Haven't done much this week other than spend each day curled up in a ball weeping to myself. Although I did find the time to review the ass off this documentary.

But I thought I had problems. That's nothing compared to what the Martians have to deal with.

Their children have become dull and stale. They want to breathe life into them again. Just look at the boring little bastards*.

So they send their mighty robot Tork to kidnap Santa Claus and take him to Mars to entertain their children.

Will their plan succeed. Can the authorities put up a fight against their mighty martian technology. And will the whole plan be stopped by that dastardly martain Keevon, boo-hiss

And let's not forgot that outrageous jokester, Droppo. His wacky antics are always getting him into trouble.

For all this and more (yes there is more**) why not download 'Santa Claus Conquers The Martians' here for free. You won't be disappointed.

*One of the children (which ever one is the girl) is actress and Dancer Pia Zadora, who is famous in America and can be seen dancing at the end of 'The Naken Gun 33 1/3' until Nielson buggers it up and takes off her wig. I also recall hearing a story about her being in a production of the Anne Frank Diaries which was so bad that when the Nazies arrived someone in the audience shouted out "She's in the attic".

**Just wait until you see the thrilling Polar Bear chase scene!!!