Just remember when you see these, that they were made to actually make you want to watch the movie ...
The Loch Ness Horror Yes, it truly is horrible. Gator Bait Nothing says knife-edge drama like a good ol' fashioned hoedown. She's feral, but with really good hair - and just check out that cry of anger. Mr Vampire Legend tells of a montage which makes no sense. I suppose they could be trying to disguise the fact that this martial arts film might be a foreign film, because obviously there are no other clues. I think there's even a vampire in it somewhere. Tommy and the Cool Mule I guess there really are some things that Eddie Murphy won't do. Zone Troopers Are they inside the spaceship or outside the spaceship? And is there a barn and a cave in the spaceship? And just how big is the spaceship? It does take war to a whole new dimension. One where continuity does not exist. A*P*E I appreciate the voiceover's effort, but in all honesty, it kind of looks like you could stroll away from him; this is a monkey who seems to like taking his time. Not sure what the asterisks are about. Starcrash Jason and the Argonauts in space! I'm not sure at which point stars actually crash. Warning: containts Hasselhoff, and bizarrely, Christopher Plummer - well, after The Sound of Music it's only right that he should suffer.
The Loch Ness Horror Yes, it truly is horrible. Gator Bait Nothing says knife-edge drama like a good ol' fashioned hoedown. She's feral, but with really good hair - and just check out that cry of anger. Mr Vampire Legend tells of a montage which makes no sense. I suppose they could be trying to disguise the fact that this martial arts film might be a foreign film, because obviously there are no other clues. I think there's even a vampire in it somewhere. Tommy and the Cool Mule I guess there really are some things that Eddie Murphy won't do. Zone Troopers Are they inside the spaceship or outside the spaceship? And is there a barn and a cave in the spaceship? And just how big is the spaceship? It does take war to a whole new dimension. One where continuity does not exist. A*P*E I appreciate the voiceover's effort, but in all honesty, it kind of looks like you could stroll away from him; this is a monkey who seems to like taking his time. Not sure what the asterisks are about. Starcrash Jason and the Argonauts in space! I'm not sure at which point stars actually crash. Warning: containts Hasselhoff, and bizarrely, Christopher Plummer - well, after The Sound of Music it's only right that he should suffer.
