Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Tales Of Woe: The Blade 2 Incident

It was late 2002 and I was still working unhappily at WHSmith’s in Windsor, working on customer services and taking care of all the CDs and DVDs and such like. It was half-term and a dark and miserable day and I was trying to do all my entertainment stuff whilst helping to look after the counter, as per usual there wasn’t enough of us to all the things that needing doing.

I drop what I’m doing to jump onto the counter as queue’s are forming with the intention of quickly clearing the queue so I can get on with what I need to be doing. I’m quickly getting through them, and filling their empty CD and DVD cases with the discs locked safely behind me.

Finally the queue clears and I try to get back on with what I’m doing. But then a lady approaches me.

“Excuse me; I’m from the Trading Standards Authority.”

She’s holding a Polaroid of a girl with a Blade 2 DVD.

“You just sold this DVD to this girl. She’s 14”

Blade 2 is an 18 certificate.

I went to fetch the manager. The three of us go up to the office. The lady is actually very polite, and apologetic. I tell her I honestly don’t remember selling it to her, I was just trying to clear the queue. It’s half-term, a perfect time to stage a sting.

Feeling a bit shell shocked I returned to work, without the bollocking I was expecting (a rare bit of decent management) but had to come in specially to see a lawyer the following week, where it was explained that I could get a warning, be given a three year caution, where, if I re-offended, I would be in serious trouble, or get taken to court. The second two I’m told almost never happen, and certainly wouldn’t happen to me, more likely that they might go after the company. The lawyer seemed to remember a case of an old lady working at Tesco who had let an underage girl have a DVD even thought she was underage but this was the only time a caution had been issued.

Besides, there’s supposed to be a warning on the till when you sell an 18 DVD, we tested Blade 2 and the warning was absent. So if anyone was going to be f***** it was the company and not me.

About six months later I was let off. I’ve never watched any of the Blade films but I gather I’m not missing much.

The Phobia of the day is couloraophobia: The fear of clowns

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

No Cheque Blues

Where's my money?!?!?!?!

Each day I dash to the doorstep as soon as I hear the post land on the doorstep. And each day when there's nothing there, I die a little inside.

And to make matters worse I've just started to receive junk mail. I don't want another f****** credit card!!!

Share certificates were apparently missing and have to re-issued, putting things back a couple of weeks.

Example of Irony of the Day: I over heard a grey haired man well over forty discussing with a younger woman the philosophical nature of reality and perception whilst wearing a pair tight leather trousers....

Good luck with that.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


Here is me climbing a tree in Epping Forest:

Yes, yes I am holding tight.

Here is french multi-instrumentalist Yann Tiersen playing at the Scala in London:

And this is Ro-man, enjoying the delights of the million dollar bubble machine:

Samual Goldwyn Quote or 'Goldwynism' of the day: "Anyone who would go to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined!"

Thursday, May 03, 2007

100th Post Spectacular !!!!!!!!!!!

Woo-hoo, Today I celebrate my 100th post. Dave Paul's Place is a year and a half old. Let's take a look back now to that first precocious posting:

Tuesday, November 01, 2005
My first posting

This is my first post onto my new blog
I'm doing this in a lesson and I can't think of anything to write. But should I not make a total balls up of this I may start to post quite often.

I want sleep now

Awh Bless.

And how things have changed. Back then I was so naive and innocent, full of ambitions, dreams and without any facial hair whatsoever.

Now look at me, unemployed, depressed and spending so much time in the same cafe on the wi-fi network that I can clearly be seen in the 'for sale' advert in the newspaper. Beard still looks good though...

I peppered this post with a bunch of wacky links, enjoy!