Sunday, September 11, 2011

More bad trailers

Just remember when you see these, that they were made to actually make you want to watch the movie ...

The Loch Ness Horror

Yes, it truly is horrible.


Gator Bait

Nothing says knife-edge drama like a good ol' fashioned hoedown. She's feral, but with really good hair - and just check out that cry of anger.



Mr Vampire

Legend tells of a montage which makes no sense. I suppose they could be trying to disguise the fact that this martial arts film might be a foreign film, because obviously there are no other clues. I think there's even a vampire in it somewhere.



Tommy and the Cool Mule

I guess there really are some things that Eddie Murphy won't do.



Zone Troopers

Are they inside the spaceship or outside the spaceship? And is there a barn and a cave in the spaceship? And just how big is the spaceship? It does take war to a whole new dimension. One where continuity does not exist.



A*P*E

I appreciate the voiceover's effort, but in all honesty, it kind of looks like you could stroll away from him; this is a monkey who seems to like taking his time. Not sure what the asterisks are about.



Starcrash

Jason and the Argonauts in space! I'm not sure at which point stars actually crash. Warning: containts Hasselhoff, and bizarrely, Christopher Plummer - well, after The Sound of Music it's only right that he should suffer.

4 comments:

John Gray said...

cracking!!!!1

Matt said...

The trailor for Mr Vampire actually made me want to watch it. I love the way A*P*E says "Not to be confused with King Kong!" - why would anyone connect A*P*E with King Kong? The effects do look amazing though. As for Ice T as a cool mule...what an ass. (I'll get my coat)

My personal highlight is Starcrash though - I've seen it a couple of times and loved it, it's far more entertaining than, say, Barbarella. This is the first time I've seen the trailor, it does slightly undersell the film.

Dave Paul Nixon said...

But does a star crash in the film? - that's what I really want to know. I get annoyed by films that lie in the title, like Night of the Bloody Apes, which has only one ape, and Invisible Ghost, which, as I'm sure you'll remember, has no ghost.

Matt said...

And,indeed, has nothing invisible in it.

Christopher Plummer was a star and he was in the film, so I guess his career crashed. As to whether ay stars actually crash in the film, no, although a few space ships do.

I did find Starcrash 2 on DVD in a shop in Germany, but didn't buy it. How I regret the decision.