Monday, September 25, 2006

The Legend of Mrs Baggit

There are many, many myths and legends that surround and take place within the rustic county of Cornwall. This is one of the lesser known, more modern legends....

Back in the early 50's, a lone widower, Mrs Irma Baggit, was bothered and rather upset about the amount of litter being left outside her little rural cottage. She would spend hours clearing up this rubbish and taking care of the dry stone walls and hedge rows. But still the litter would gather.

Then one fateful day in June she happened to catch some school children carelessly dropping the paper from their half eaten portion of chips across the road. Angrily and hastily she dashed out of her house, brandishing a broom to threaten the young boys. But she was so hasty that she did not notice the juggernaut lorry speeding down the road.

The lorry flattened her, crushing every tiny bone in her body and making an unbarable bloody mess across her precious road. She was dead.

But her spirit could not rest, not while her precious roadside was being littered. So she went away from the light and became the vengeful spirit of street cleanliness. She sought out the boys who befouled the road outside her house with their chip wrappings.

Both boys awake the next morning in extreme pain. During the night one of each of their kidneys had been removed mysteriously (she had dreamed of being a surgeon in a previous life before being supressed by the oppressive male governmental regime).

And thus the terror of Baggit began. Chewing gum leavers found the fingers nails torn out during the night. A news paper dropper found his big toes taken clean off, both unawares during the night.

To combat this wave of terror the council wisely hit upon a campaign to combat littering in which Mrs Baggit became the symbol of clean roadways across Cornwall, her smiley face appearing on signs in laybys across the whole county.

This lead to the end of the attacks but in recent years the campaign has faded into memory and been forgotten and only a few of Mrs Baggit's warning signs still exist.

Although the legend has died down we should by no means be complacent, as this group of spritely youths discovered.

This photograph sees them openly mocking the Baggit legend as afterward they had a beach barbecue and did not clean up after themselves. They awoke next day to find their arms and legs tied together with extracts of their own intestines.

So you have been warned. Don't drop litter or else the Baggit will get ya!

Quote of the day: "Anybody that's involved in a workshop and isn't a light engineer, is a twat" - Alexei Sayle.