Monday, December 03, 2007

Tube Cattle

Now that I'm a card-carrying Londoner, I have the opportunity to observe Londoners in their natural habit and I have come to the following unsurprising conclusion.

Most of them are stupid.

I've discovered that things only exist if there's a queue in front of them. Ticket machines for example. People will quite happily queue at a ticket machine and completely ignore another perfectly functional machine only a few feet away.

This problem is magnified when it comes to cash points, as a second cash point might be as far away as say, well, just round the street corner. One often finds that people will queue into double figures before even considering looking for another place to collect their money.

Workers arriving at Marks & Spencers Towers at also depressingly dumb. People will calmly queue to use the revolving doors when there are two perfectly good doors on either side of it. Although this would require the effort of pushing or pulling. I think this might be too much for most workers*

This is born out by the elevator problem. Naturally with a building so tall and with workers primarily arriving at the same time, congestion occurs daily. Yet the people who complain most about the elevator delays are the people who get off at the first floor. Now I can be quite retro on occasion but stairs, good old fashioned stairs, they really, really, can't have completely been forgotten in this high-tech elevating, escalating world.

Is this what I can look forward to? A complete dumbing down of all sense, pluck and initiative. Stay tuned to find out.

Phobia of the day:
melissophobia - the fear of bees.

* I didn't look quite so clever the day the door was locked, mind.


Matt said...

melissophobia - phobia of people called melissa

Matt said...

Dave, you may be pleased to know that Santa Claus vs the Martians has been named in MSN's 12 Worst Christmas films ever.