Copy Fail: John Lewis again...

Obviously no one's noticed... Yikes...

Word of the Week

Fletcherize - to chew (food) slowly and thoroughly.

Copy Fail: John Lewis

Generally speaking, that's not how I would use a camcorder.

Templates aren't so good if you don't take care and fill them out properly. And that second sentence is awfully pushy!

Word of the Week

Flapdoodle - nonsense; bosh.

April Film Highlights

Though must readth the 50 Word Film Reviews blog.

Akira (1988) Mitsuo Iwata, Nozomu Sasaki, Mami Koyama, Taro Ishida, Mizuho Suzuki. Dir: Katsuhiro Otomo.

After an inexplicable accident, a biker in future Tokyo is taken by the military for experimenatation. Few films work so hard to blow your mind – if the cosmic existentialism doesn’t do it, the explosive sound and intense visceral action will. So relentless it’s hard to endure, Akira is truly unforgettable.

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Day of Wrath (1943) Thorkild Roose, Lisbeth Movin, Sigrid Neiiendam, Preben Lerdorff Rye, Albert Hoeberg. Dir: Carl Theodor Dreyer.

A woman falls for her elderly husband’s son while starting to suspect she maybe a witch. Atmospheric, complex movie, which suggests the notion of witchcraft comes from sexual repression and men’s fear of desire. Gently paced, broodingly intense, and shot with a simple, subtle elegance, this is masterful individual filmmaking.

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The Omega Man (1971) Charlton Heston, Anthony Zerbe, Paul Koslo, Rosalind Cash, Eric Laneuville. Dir: Boris Sagal.

After a plague wipes out humanity, one healthy man remains, persecuted by a cult of diseased fanatics. A lone man hunted scenario ought to create a feeling of discomfort and suspense, but the emotional content is undermined by gung-ho direction and exciteable scoring. It’s action packed, but that’s counterproductive to the concept.

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Vampyr (1932) Julian West, Maurice Schutz, Rena Mandel, Jan Hieronimko, Sybille Schmitz, Rena Mandel. Dir: Carl Theodor Dreyer.

A wanderer meets a man who predicts his own death and whose daughter is a vampire’s victim. Brilliant ghostly fantasy, soaked in startling gothic imagery. Dreyer develops an unsettling dream like atmosphere rather than a coherent narrative – just turn out the lights and experience a nightmare unlike any other.

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Son of Kong (1933) Robert Armstrong, Helen Mack, Frank Reicher, John Marston, Victor Wong. Dir: Ernest B. Schoedsack.

Denham and crew sail away from prosecution, but return to Kong’s island to seek treasure. In cinemas 9 months after Kong and it shows. The humans weren’t that interesting before, and aren’t interesting enough to carry this for the long trip back. And who wants a cuddly Kong? Forgettable nonsense.

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Headhunters (2011) Aksel Hennie, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Synnøve Macody Lund, Julie Ølgaard, Eivind Sander. Dir: Morten Tyldum.

An executive recruiter and art thief accidentally picks a very dangerous target. Gripping non-gloomy Scandinavian thriller that mixes suspense with black humour and takes a satisfying swipe at the amoral corporate class. Ingenious set-pieces excite, although a tendency to be too gruesome jars, and the ending breaches credulity. Very satisfying.

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971) Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Bradford Dillman, Natalie Trundy, Eric Braeden, Sal Mineo, Ricardo Montalbán. Dir: Don Taylor.

The ape scientists escape their world’s destruction and travel back to 20th century earth. The Apes films were always humorous, but here it over-indulges, detracting from its dark themes – two societies facing their failings, unable to prevent their destruction. Reduced budget prevents thrills, though the ending’s as devastating as ever.

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Letter from an Unknown Woman (1948) Joan Fontaine, Louis Jourdan, Mady Christians, Marcel Journet. Dir: Max Ophüls.

A rogue receives a letter from a woman he barely remembers, but whose life he transformed. Hankies on standby; this weepie keeps its melodrama in check with elegant brush-strokes and by not sugar-coating the cruel tragedy at its centre – a life spent chasing a false fantasy. Hollywood at its best.

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Theatrama

The Ladykillers – Gielgud Theatre

The West End is filled will easy-money big stage productions of Hollywood hits, but at least The Ladykillers is slightly more risky material. Stories like Singin’ in the Rain and Top Hat are feel-good box office slam-dunks that you’d have to stage pretty sloppily not to hit the mark. But few West End headliners can claim to revolve around a gang of crooks and their inability to murder a kind old lady.

60 years on, The Ladykillers has lost none of its dark comic charm. It’s a very British film; one about flawed characters who are failures - villains who aren’t good at being villains. Graham Linehan, of Father Ted and IT Crowd fame, has elected, quite rightly, to avoid the easy route of putting the film on the stage line for line. Instead, he’s approached this the way a filmmaker might approach adapting a stage play for the screen and taken the opportunity to infuse it with new ideas and to explore angles untouched by the original.

With an expanded running time, Linehan builds the supporting parts into larger roles with greater comedic opportunities. Professor Marcus’ gang now includes a cross-dresser (Vicar of Dibley’s James Fleet) a pill-popper (up-and-comer Stephen Wright), an Eastern European with a child-hood fear of old Ladies (comedian Ben Miller) and a classic old-fashioned dunce (Clive Rowe).

The crux characters, the Professor (the Thick of It’s Peter Capaldi) and Mrs Wilberforce (theatre veteran Marcia Warren) remain largely unchanged. Capaldi is more energetic and slippery than Alec Guiness, but Warren seems to channel Katie Johnson perfectly, bringing the same harmless, doddery indomitable innocence that can cause havoc but receive no reproach. They’re the stars of the piece, for sure, although the ensemble is so perfect, they all deserve a slice of the credit.

The set is ingenious – a forced perspective interior that allow us to see the crooks in their room as well as Mrs Wilberforce pottering about the home, an ever approaching threat to their plans. But the home spins on its axis allowing us a view of the roof and the bedroom window, where many of the cast will meet their fate, and the front of the house, where, in one of the biggest laughs of the piece, the robbery will be played out – as toy cards running on tracks with police radio broadcasts.

There are many highlights; perhaps the best is the music concert, in which the crooks’ attempts to play music are successfully passed off by the Professor as an experimental music piece, leading to an applause-inciting line about the middle-classes love of fake art. The Ladykillers is a brilliant night out, and a great alternative to well-staged but artistically dead, money-hoarding big movie adaptations.

Bingo – New Vic Theatre

A sparsely staged character piece, Bingo centres on Will Shakespeare in his Twilight years, as he attempts to live a peaceful life in retirement. His dubious contentment (he is distant to his wife and daughter) is disrupted by a wealthy local landowner, who wishes to consolidate his lands, moving away small farms and replacing them with larger operations.

Shakespeare has invested in the local land, and agrees to support the plans if his income is guaranteed throughout the changes. But of course, the redistribution of land has a consequence to the people who currently live there. This leads to violence, causing Shakespeare to reflect negatively on the moral consequences of his life.

The idea is that as an artist, Shakespeare has led a comfortable life, a complacent one. That while he practiced his art, constructed tales and worlds in his theatre, he paid little heed to those suffering in the world, and the he himself has contributed to that suffering; indirectly through complacency, and now directly by protecting his interests.  He has aimed through his life for his work to have enriched the lives of men, yet his security has now cost men dearly.

It’s a situation that’s clearly designed to makes us consider society as a whole, and not just the bard. That capitalism forces people to behave in ways that are unavoidably self-serving and to the detriment of others. Shakespeare discovers that his wealth and security have devastating consequences to the people he knows and cares for. And he also comes to realise, reflective in his old age, that he has passed these problems onto the next generation.

Throughout the play, he is dismissive and rude to his daughter, and neglectful and distant from his wife, who remains unseen. Later, while drunk, Shakespeare simultaneously berates and apologises to his daughter, who he sees as superficial and grasping, a consequence of his trying to buy her love. It seems a cruel attack, yet events prove his reproaches to be accurate.

Shakespeare is played by Patrick Stewart, and his performance is as good as you’d expect. Despite being silent for many scenes, his resigned posture and weary, frail frame gives him a constant appearance of mourning, even when he’s actually doing very little.

While there are scenes that amuse (a drunken encounter with his rival Ben Johnson is particularly entertaining) the whole thing is undeniably a bit of a drag. It’s an intelligent and insightful play, and performed with a sensible economy on stage, but its glumness, and downbeat conclusion, leaves little room for hope. The issues that trouble the bard remain unresolved, and the suffering and cruelty around him is simply left to go on. An honest end, I daresay, just not all that fulfilling.

Swallows & Amazons – Vaudeville Theatre

I’m a big fan of Neil Hannon and his Divine Comedy, so this was pretty much a must for me. An adaptation of Arthur Ransome’s children’s classic, it might seem troublesome as it involves sail boats and islands and the outdoors. But it’s actually an ideal production project, because it’s a celebration of children’s imagination.

The National Theatre sets all its action in what appears to be an attic, with the children taking objects - bit of wood, streamers, a lifebelt – and using them to bring their adventures to life. It gives the whole effort a rather charming, homemade appeal, which is just as well – as if any parent would allow their children to sail a boat on their own these days!

I’ve always thought Neil Hannon was at best when working with a touch of literary pretension – as opposed to when he’s being earnest – and again it shows. His songs are infectious, catchy and often very funny indeed; his anthem for the Amazon pirates - “raised by our mum on the banks of the Amazon delta/ With only the clouds and a four-bedroom house for shelter” - is a particularly memorable toe-tapper. But there’s no grand orchestrations, the songs are arranged simply for a small band in keeping with the plays rather intimate presentation.

The kids are all played by rather youthful looking grown-ups, which doesn’t jar with proceedings much, despite the fact the youngest is also the biggest, and has a beard. Somehow actor Stewart Wright’s size manages to make his strops, his shyness and clumsiness that touch more funny.

Although special mention has to go to the gobby Blackett children, played by Celia Adams and
Sophie Waller, whose foot-stomping, gizzard-bothering Amazons found the most favour with the audience. They’re probably also a more recognisable character type for kids anyway, much more relatable than the old-school goodie-two-shoes Walker children.

Kids are probably the toughest audience to keep fixated, but with this cosy production, they were engrossed from the off. It was brought off with warmth and gentle humour, and had respect for the material and never cocked a sneer at the anachronisms of its time. It’s a wonderful celebration of the wonder and pleasures of play and imagination, and proof again that kids can love more, and deserve more, than noisy CGI robots.

Word of the Week

Barnburner - Something that is highly exciting or impressive.

Copy Fail: King's College

I just don’t get this; in what context do they mean “World questions”? Do they mean it in the sense that while the rest of the world questions, King’s comes up with the answers? Or that King’s comes up with answers for all the questions about the world?

I think it’s probably the former, as it’s meant to be a juxtaposition. But without the - the definitive article - it could be either. The result is slogan that’s supposed to impress, but is vague and clumsy.

And let’s not also forget that while it’s common for folk to refer to King’s College as King’s, not everyone is certain to know this, especially foreigners. There is a small chance a visitor could see it and think they mean literally mean kings. Sure, it’s a small chance, but a good writer tries to anticipate these kinds of stumbling blocks. I mean, we all have ‘off’ moments when we don’t quite make the connection we’re supposed to – this kind of ambiguity, small though it is, makes this more likely.

What I imagine happened was that it was originally a longer, and more precise phrase, probably: While the world questions – King’s answers. But somebody decided it needed to be four words and cut it done, maybe without consulting the writer. Certainly without considering the impact on the phrases meaning.

You’ll also notice there’s no comma. And I’m not really sure what the italics are bringing to the table.

Word of the Week

Caparison

noun
1. A decorative covering for a horse or for the tack or harness of a horse; trappings.

2. Rich and sumptuous clothing or equipment.

verb (used with object)

3. To cover with a caparison.

4. To dress richly; deck.

March Film Highlights

It's possible I've mentioned my 50 Word Film Reviews blog I'd be most grateful if you could go there and visit.

The Woman in Black (2012) Daniel Radcliffe, Ciaran Hinds, Janet McTeer, Sophie Stuckey, Liz White. Dir: James Watkins.

A lawyer is dispatched to an isolated mansion feared haunted by the locals. Play worked because of carefully built and sustained dread; at one point this adaptation has Radcliffe race into a burning building. Added periodic shocks suggest little faith in the source material, or the audience. Some effective sequences.

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The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (1976) Ben Gazzara, Timothy Agoglia Carey, Seymour Cassel, Azizi Johari, Robert Phillips, Morgan Woodward. Dir: John Cassavetes.

A strip club owner becomes indebted to gangsters who will clear his debt if he murders a bookie. Backstreet cinema-verite character study, which asks how far you’d go to protect your world. Gazzara’s not desperately likeable or intimidating, but his response to losing his seedy hole is shocking and unexpected.

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Natural Born Killers (1994) Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Sizemore, Rodney Dangerfield. Dir: Oliver Stone.

A couple of violent killers on the run became media darlings. Wildly filmed, Cormenesque critique of mass media manipulation, one that pushes you to root for the killers, despite their depravity. MTV style hyper-cutting is striking, but exhausting over two hours, beating you over the head with the film’s message.

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The Dark Eyes of London (1939) Béla Lugosi, Hugh Williams, Greta Gynt, Edmon Ryan, Wilfred Walter. Dir: Walter Summers.

A series of dead bodies in the Thames are linked to a crooked insurer and a home for the blind. First UK film to get an H rating for horror. This surprisingly nasty thriller has some creaky moments, but boasts strong suspense, solid direction and Lugosi really in his element.

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The Raven (2012) John Cusack, Alice Eve, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Luke Evans, Brendan Gleeson. Dir: James McTeigue.

Edgar Allen Poe joins a murder investigation after his stories inspire a killer. Poorly scripted and plotted. Directed without suspense or atmosphere and little attention to period. Cusack plays Poe as a washed-up rockstar, with few demons, but at least he has good lines; Evans is painful to watch. Rubbish.

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Dracula AD 1972(1972) Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Stephanie Beacham, Christopher Neame, Michael Coles. Dir: Alan Gibson.

The Count awakens in 70s London to avenge himself on the Van Helsing family. The 70s seems like the 60s in this unintentionally funny attempt to relaunch the series. Still the same plot, yet it’s one of the pacier entries, with above par direction and a welcome return for Cushing.

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Carnage (2011) Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz. John C. Reilly. Dir: Roman Polanski.

Two sets of parents sit down to discuss a fight between their children. Not quite on-par with Polanski’s other interior psychodramas; characters are a tad archetypal and it doesn’t cut as deep as it promises to. But there’s sharp dialogue and wit, and a great performance from Waltz to enjoy.

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The Omen (1976) Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens, Patrick Troughton. Dir: Richard Donner.

Sinister occurrences lead an ambassador to believe his son maybe evil. Is it the many parodies, or the film’s tendency to take itself very seriously, while going way OTT, that makes it a giggle? Some fabulously flamboyant executions help make it very entertaining despite weak plotting and stodgy sections.

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Copy Fail: Next

Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to use more words describing a product’s drawbacks rather than its positives.

The fact that the writer makes little effort to sell a £10 product is bad enough, but the fact that more text is dedicated to the problems of returning the product automatically produces the implication that the customer is likely to be unhappy with the purchase, and will probably want to return it.

It’s a bit like that warning they read to you very quickly at the end of adverts for loans or mortgages. But now imagine that message was longer than the actual advert.

Seriously, at least put the warning in small writing, somewhere away from the main message. Otherwise, as in the case, the product looks problematic and more trouble than it’s worth.

Word of the Week

Debouch - to march out from a narrow or confined place into open country, as a body of troops. To come forth; emerge.

February Film Highlights

Bit late this month, but you could always just look at the blog instead.

The Iron Lady (2011) Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Olivia Colman, Alexandra Roach, Harry Lloyd, Stuart Heard. Dir: Phyllida Lloyd.

Elderly Margaret Thatcher reflects on her rise to power and political career. Makes its case for Thatcher as a formidable, yet human, force to be reckoned with, but her divisive policies remain an awkward elephant in the room. Without Streeps excellent performance, it’s little more than a daytime TV melodrama.

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Bullets Over Broadway (1994) John Cusack, Dianne Weist, Jennifer Tilly, Chazz Palminteri, Joe Viterelli, Jack Warden, Jim Broadbent, Rob Reiner, Tracey Ullman. Dir: Woody Allen.

A playwright reluctantly accepts a gangster's money to stage his play, but then must suffer his girlfriend as his star. Entertaining backstage farce with a great cast and standout turns from Weist and Broadbent. Asides from being laugh-heavy it’s also a great satire on pretentious artists, their commitment and integrity.

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Steamboat Bill Jr.(1928) Buster Keaton, Ernest Torrence, Marion Byron, Tom McGuire. Dir: Buster Keaton.

A father struggling to save his Steamboat is shocked to discover his son’s become a dandy. Keaton displays his skill at mise-en-scene with some of his most memorable visuals and most elaborate visual gags. With an endearing story and exciting climax, he’s at the absolute hilarious height of his powers.

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Village of the Damned(1960) George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, Martin Stephens, Michael Gwynn. Dir: Wolf Rilla.

A village’s population black-out at the same time; when they awake, the women are pregnant. Sci-fi horror where invaders take on the uncanny form of children, chillingly emotionless and cruel, yet still childlike. Intelligently written, economical handling is its strength and weakness, there’s more potential beyond its short running time.

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The Muppets (2011) Jason Siegal, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, Jack Black, Peter Linz, Steve Whitmore, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz. Dir: James Bobin.

A Muppet fan discovers their studio is being demolished and tries to re-group the gang to save it. Canny revival that appeals to old fans so they’ll bring the kids. Some gags misfire, but successfully restores the gang back to their daft, anarchic roots. Songs are good, but cameos a bit disappointing.

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Thirst (2009) Song Kang-ho, Kim Ok-bin, Shin Ha-kyun, Kim Hae-sook. Dir: Park Chan-wook.

A priest survives a botched medical experiment but develops a taste for blood, and lust. A witty refreshingly different vampire thriller, one that blends faith questioning, domestic drama and film noir with lashings of black comedy. It’s less a horror, but a love story, one that’s pleasingly demented.

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War Horse (2011) Jeremy Irvine, Emily Watson, Peter Mullan, Niels Arestrup, David Thewlis, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston, Eddie Marsan. Dir: Steven Spielberg.

A boy raises and trains a horse, but when WW1 comes, both are called into battle. With a script so acclaimed, why would you change it? Spielberg and Co smother it with sentimental goo and blunt its edges with cosy characterisations. Looks great, but not a patch on the play.

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Divorce, Italian Style (1961) Marcello Mastroianni, Daniela Rocca, Stefania Sandrelli, Leopoldo Trieste, Odoardo Spadaro. Dir: Pietro Germi.

Unable to divorce his wife, an Italian nobleman tricks her into having an affair so he can honour-kill her. If Ealing Studios ever made a trip to Italy – clever satire on the ludicrous contradictions of traditional Sicilian relationships, brought to screen with style and wit and a great star performance.

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Word of the Week

hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - fear of long words.

Yet Even More Bad Trailers

They're not good, but when compared to trailers like Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and 21 Jump Street, they seem positively bursting with vitality.

Hell of the Living Dead

You’re supposed to pick the best moments for your movie trailer, not just any old bits of the movie. And not 4 minutes worth of bits. Even the zombies look tired – watch for the one who puts the gun in his mouth voluntarily. Still, nice to see some of the characters get offed in the trailer, so you know not to care about them.



Alienator

They can escape a whole spaceship’s security force but they can’t escape a sexually confused super-soldier on earth?



Scalps

At what point do they disturb the graves of the dead? I don’t think they need worry too much, native American monsters can’t seemingly can’t perform acts of vengeance away from a black background – true fact.

As if massacring them and taking their land wasn’t insulting enough…



The Frozen Dead

But, it says that they were frozen alive right at the beginning, so how can they be dead? And why are their arms sticking out of a wall? If you can put a living head in a box surely you can store and preserve limbs in a more sensible manner.



The Doberman Gang

And you thought violent dogs were a contemporary problem. Let’s hope the council estate kids don’t start having these ideas… Although, frankly, the cost of training the dogs and then the printing and decorating costs of building such an elaborate rehearsal set would mean that they would have to commit three robberies before they broke even.



1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS

One man, you say, but which man? Who is it? Don’t keep us in suspense – oh, wait, you didn’t.



It Came Without Warning

Who in this trailer doesn’t get a warning? I mean there’s the squeaking sound for starters… Maybe just wear a balaclava or a hat?



Attack of the Puppet People

They’re not puppets and they’re not attacking anyone. That’s a double fail. And they don’t seem to mind being small that much; doesn’t stop them putting on a show.



The Glamazon Bone Crushers of The Wrestling World

Things were tough before internet porn. It’s no coincidence that when the titles say 70 minutes of interrupted action, the 70 looks like 10 – and that’s just the skipping rope scene.

Word of the Week

Gnosis - knowledge of spiritual matters; mystical knowledge.

The Bottle

Consider the image above. This is a bottle of Tesco flavoured water, purchased by me and later consumed (the water at least). You may want to take note of the date… Says 2006 doesn’t it?

That’s a long time ago. A long, long time for a bottle of water, especially after you’ve drank it.
Many people would’ve reacted with horror at the thought of drinking something so far past its sell by date. Me, however, I was excited – I was going to get Tesco for this one. Oh yes, this had to be worth some vouchers at least!

I got right on the case. I visited the Tesco website and sent them an indignant email, expressing my shock and concern that other bottles of aged water were being unleashed on the public. Of course, I didn’t really think an old bottle of water could be of any harm. Besides, the label on the bottle was recent, so it was probably just a labelling mistake.

Nevertheless, they had a responsibility to make sure they printed their labels correctly, or else things could potentially go wrong. Tesco were quite quick to reply, I had a phone call within 24 hours. The caller expressed his sincere apologies and asked if I could visit the store I purchased it from, so that they could check and ensure no other bottles were on sale.

So I prepared for my visit, rehearsing in my mind my lines of dialogue. My concern, outrage and upset - my insistence of compensation, just a token gesture, it needn’t be anything huge.

I arrived at the store armed with the offending bottle, and got the attention of a nervous supervisor, who took the bottle away for examination. I waited for quite some time, keeping up my stern front of seriousness while pacing in front of Cadbury’s Cream Egg display.

Eventually the supervisor returned and pointed out that the 2006 was part of the bottle registration, and the sell by date is the month and year marked above, June 2012.

Makes sense when you look at it.

So with my bottle gripped angrily in my fist, I departed. My hopes of a compensation bonanza dashed, I skulked despondent into my local Greggs. In desperation, I purchased a steak slice and a sausage roll*, crossed my fingers, and hoped for salmonella.

* As Greggs was packed full of customers, I can only conclude that there are a lot of desperate people in this world.

Word of the Week

Sexdecillion - a cardinal number represented in the U.S. by 1 followed by 51 zeros, and in Great Britain by 1 followed by 96 zeros.

January Film Highlights

You visit 50 Word Film Review blog right now.

Coriolanus (2011) Ralph Fiennes, Gerard Butler, Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Cox, Jessica Chastain, James Nesbit, Paul Jesson. Dir: Ralph Fiennes.

When heroic General Martius is rejected by his people, he seeks an alliance with his greatest enemy. Fiennes’ directorial debut is punchy and captivating, staged smartly in a striking contemporary warzone, allowing its political and social themes seem powerfully relevant. Strong performances all round.

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Dreams of a Life (2011) Zawe Ashton. Dir: Carol Morley.

Documentary about Joyce Vincent, whose death in her London flat went undiscovered for 3 years. A film about how well we really know each other. Joyce was sociable, popular, loved, but uncovered evidence points to a disturbing, secretive existence, unknown to friends, that will probably never be uncovered. Deeply upsetting.

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Sleeper (1973) Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, John Beck, Marya Small, Susan Miller. Dir: Woody Allen.

After being frozen, a man wakes up in the 22nd century and is forced to become a revolutionary. Witty spoof of sci-fi conventions with charming Keaton-esque touches. Importantly, begins to discuss relationships and sexual politics, laying the way for Woody’s later movies, but loses the thread before the end.

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Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970) James Franciscus, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, Linda Harrison, Charlton Heston. Dir: Ted Post.

A rescue mission arrives, looking for the first crew; meanwhile the apes plan to invade the forbidden zone. Heston’s reluctance to appear means the first half’s spent retreading familiar territory with a dull look-a-like. Later we enter strange territory with a post-apocalyptic bomb-worshipping cult, significantly raising interest. Another startling ending.

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgård, Steven Berkoff. Dir: David Fincher.

A journalist receives help investigating a decades old murder from an unconventional researcher. Swedish version’s a tough act to follow, but Fincher makes remaking it worthwhile by reinterpreting it as a pacey jet-black thriller. Unfortunately, leads are less ambiguous, becoming a more typical action double-act eventually, though performances are excellent.

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Return to Oz (1985) Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson. Dir: Walter Murch.

Dorothy’s committed to an asylum for believing in Oz, but when she returns, it’s become a ruin. Doomed to failure – you couldn’t do sugar-coated Oz in the 80s, nevertheless, it’s so dark it almost seems like deliberate critique. Yet you can’t deny the intriguing visual power of its nightmarish world.

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Shame (2011) Michael Fassbinder, Carey Mulligan, Nicole Beharie, James Badge Dale. Dir: Steve McQueen.

A sex addict faces his demons when his emotionally fragile sister arrives. Effectively shows the dark side of a condition few take seriously. Fassbinder’s sexual hunger masks desperate loneliness, an inability to develop meaningful relationships. Layers it on too thick occasionally, but long unedited sequences give leads chance to impress.

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The Artist (2011) Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo, John Goodman, James Cromwell. Dir:Michel Hazanavicius.

A silent star helps a young actress, but as her star rises, his fades with the coming of sound. Glorious tribute to silent movies, full of witty visual flourishes that showcase the beauty of purely visual storytelling. Endearingly romantic with wonderful humour, it’s difficult not to fall under its spell.

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Word of the Week

Idioglossia - a private form of speech invented by one child or by children who are in close contact, as twins.