Sunday, November 18, 2007

The House Hunt

I’ve been spending all week trying to find somewhere new to live in London. It’s been hard, it’s been difficult, and it’s been damn irritating. From the flat so small I could urinate from one end to the other*, to the flat I saw twice with two different agents one after the other and let’s not forget the estate agent who tried to talk me out of seeing the flat, only to eventually give in and drive me violently there for a tense 30 second viewing before thundering off – it’s been a demoralising time.

Mostly I’ve been looking at studio flats.

What are studio flats?

Studio flats are the gutted rooms of once beautiful townhouses with a small bathroom and small bits of kitchen stuffed in them.

That sounds a little cramped.

You’d struggle to swing a small fraction of an anorexic pygmy cat in most.

Can’t you get large ones?

You can, but you pay a lot more and get very, very little extra. Basically, if you have any belongings, you’ll have to leave them somewhere else.

But I don’t want to live like a rabbit in a warren. What can I do?

Live on the streets or in a bed-sit, or pray you can find someone to move in with.

But I have found somewhere. Expensive, oh yes, very much so. But it’s liveable and actually has room to breathe and move and stuff. I’ll be appreciating that a great deal as I go bankrupt.

On the down side, there isn’t any furniture. It’s going to be bare living for a while…

Delusion of the Day: Reduplicative paramnesia.

A belief that a place or location has been duplicated, exists in two places at once, or has been moved to another site.

*Hypothetically of course. I wasn't drunk.