David Goes to Barcelona: Day One

Recently I took my first ever trip to Barcelona, and Spain in fact, in celebration of my friends Droz's 30th birthday. It started characteristically well for me, I arrived to a torrential rain storm and was soaked just going from the plane to the shuttle bus.

Then I found that my mobile (not that most sophisticated grant you) wasn’t picking up a signal. I was supposed to phone ahead to say when I was on my way to Placa Catalunya. Managing to find the bus there, I ended up begging other people on the bus to use their mobile phones. Fortunately, my friend Chris had just happened to have gone to the bus stop at the same time to wait for me, so all was saved.

Our accommodation was not far from the town centre, a B&B that was essentially someone’s flat. It had one of those old fashioned wood panelled elevators, which we used frequently.

After a wet first evening waiting around and then trying to find a restaurant that didn’t exist, we got things going on the next day by visiting Park Guell, an elaborate hillside park designed by Catalan architect Antoni Gaudí, displaying his full frothy style.

From these scenes its clear that Gaudi has a thing for cake and sand castles.

 

And that all manufacturers of ornaments for gold fish bowls have taken their lead from him.
 

 

There is, uniquely, an escalator route upto Guell. Shame we didn’t find it until we started on the way back.

After a rather disgusting lunch at an appalling café (fortunately the only culinary disaster of the weekend) we went over to the Sagrada Família, Gaudi’s rather staggering cathedral. One side is quite abstract...

The other more gothic, if it does appear to be melting. The Cathedral has never been finished (and there’s much debate as to whether it should be finished). This is something or a recurring there for cathedrals in Barcelona, of which there are many. All the good ones have taken at least 100 hundred years to get completed.

We were sadly unable to go into the cathedral due to huge queues. We then decided to go to the Picasso museum. Following much walking around in circles, we found that we could get in because of large queues. We spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the sculptures and odd pieces of art along the harbour.

After much wandering about in the evening, we enjoyed a really good meal of tapas and the got badly ripped off at a Ramplas bar. More to follow…
 

 

Comic Book Villain of the Week

Crime Man

A man made of crime perhaps? Little is known about Crime Man, although he does have a very intimidating C on his top, so we can assume his crimes are not covert in nature.

He was a one time villain of Captain Marvel Jnr, a character himself who seems oddly superfluous. The point of Captain Marvel was that he was a young boy who had the power to change into a super-powered grown-up, so why would you have a child version?

Still, look at that beard. Definitely a dangerous fellow.

I think this could explain a lot...

September Film Highlights

Read the 50 Word blog if you can; I work very hard on it.

Dredd (2012) Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Wood Harris, Lena Headey. Dir: Pete Travis

Judge (jury & executioner) Dredd is trapped with a rookie in an office-block, hunted by a gang. Tightly-woven actioneering with plenty of violence and thrills, if few surprises. Hardly thought-provoking, but successfully showcases potential for future franchising. Urban manages to avoid sounding silly, but distinguishing between judges is a problem.

DDDD

God Told Me To (1976) Tony Lo Bianco, Deborah Raffin, Sandy Dennis, Sylvia Sidney, Sam Levene. Dir: Larry Cohen.

A Catholic policeman is distressed when several spree-killers claim God told them to kill. Makes The Omen seem like a skip through the park. The rough edges to this trippy horror actually work for it, creating an off-balance vision of religion and divinity which is psychedelic, mind-bending and very disturbing.

DDDDd

The Trial (1962) Anthony Perkins, Orson Welles, Jeanne Moreau, Romy Schneider, Akim Tamiroff, Elsa Martinelli. Dir: Orson Welles.

A man is arrested but without being told the reason. The surreal, black comedy of Kafka’s tale gives Welles plenty of opportunity to display his visual showmanship, transforming a ruined railway station into a decaying symbol of inertia, and self-consuming corruption. But like Josef’s case, it goes nowhere slowly.

DDDD

Rebecca (1940) Laurence Olivier, Joan Fontaine, Judith Anderson, George Sanders, Nigel Bruce, C. Aubrey Smith, Gladys Cooper. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock.

A young girl marries a wealthy older man, but the shadow of his first wife hangs over her. Whatever battles Hitch and Selznick fought were ultimately worth it. It’s more Hollywood than Hitchcock, but this beautiful gothic melodrama is full of the master’s touches. Performances are pitch perfect.

DDDDD

Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932) Bela Lugosi, Sidney Fox, Leon Ames, Bert Roach, Brandon Hurst. Dir: Robert Florey.

A sideshow doctor wishes to combine the blood of his gorilla with a compatible female. Florey and cameraman Freund are an expressionistic dream team; every frame is exquisitely composed (even the monkey’s well handled). Surprisingly macabre, studio mandated cuts leave sections a bit choppy, and the support characters are rubbish.

DDDD

The Bat (1959) Vincent Price, Agnes Moorehead, Gavin Gordon, John Sutton, Lenita Lane. Dir: Crane Wilbur.

A fortune may be hidden in an old mansion and it’s sought by the a killer known as The Bat. Ropey old mystery play transferred to the screen with little imagination and a great deal of clumsy exposition. Very silly, very dated, and the twist is nicked from Agatha Christie.

DDd

Edge of Sanity (1989) Anthony Perkins, Glynis Barber, Sarah Maur-Thorp, David Lodge, Ben Cole. Dir: Gerard Kikoine.

When Jekyll becomes Hyde, long supressed desires are awakened. Takes the sexual undertones to their zenith, while relating the tale to Jack the Ripper, though that’s oddly incidental. Psychology’s rather simple and ultimately the story has nowhere to go but silly, and that’s in addition to gigglesome Ken-Russell-esque sauce and flamboyance.

DDD

Comic Book Villain of the Week

Asbestos Man

Not actually a man made of asbestos, but a man in an asbestos suit. Orson Kasloff was a scientist who felt he wasn’t earning enough money in the science business, so he turned to a life of crime instead, as you do.

 

Failing in an early attempt to rob a bank, he struggled to put together a crime posse. He then decided the best way to get some street cred was to defeat superhero the Human Flame

Apparently wealthy enough to buy a castle, he challenged the Human Torch to a fight. He made himself a suit made of asbestos, a shield made of Super Asbestos and a net that could catch fire balls and throw them back at his enemy.

He was able to defeat the Human Torch once using a trapdoor to drop him in his moat. Asbestos Man was later defeated, however, when the Human Torch returned and suffocated him by using up all the oxygen in his castle.

Nothing was seen of Asbestos for many years, until 2011, when he re-appeared, claiming to have survived cancer, to fight the Great Lake Avengers. None of them wanted to take Asbestos Man into custody for fear of becoming ill.

 

Some of My Favourite Infomercials

These days I find myself having to watch infomercials quite a lot, as is the nature of my job. Here are a few of my favourites...

Urine Gone

I’m all for naming a product after what it does, but maybe they should’ve picked something a little more nuanced? And I can’t help but feel, in the case of the woman who has lots of dogs, maybe she should just train them better?

Pizzarette

Hold your own bad Italian stereotype parties with Pizzarette, as recommended by an anonymous chef with a very authentic accent. My favourite part is the bit when the woman has to yell “I love tuna”, just to get a word in. And how are you pronouncing Pizzarette again?

Potty Putter

Isn’t the risk with this product (and I accept there are a number of fundamental flaws) that every time you play golf, you’ll only be able to putt while squatting with your trousers down? Better make sure you wash the handle every time…

Uro Club

I imagine somewhere there in America there’s a golf fan who mends toilets for a living and suddenly stumbled onto a world of opportunity. If you’re going to stand in the bushes, you mays as well just have a slash anyway…

Hawaii Chair

I suppose a clinic specialising in the treatment of Parkinson’s might not be a good place to use it - but other than that, yeah, literally, you could just use it absolutely anywhere.

Comfort Wipe

I’m not convinced there are any advantages to being a “big guy” in this context. And even if there were, needing a pair of tongs to wipe your arse would pretty much cancel any of them out.

Comic Book Villain of the Week

The Fiddler  

A classic enemy, perhaps appropriately, of The Flash, Fiddler is an expert fiddle player (and not that other thing you were thinking of). His fiddle playing abilities allow him, amongst other skills, to hypnotise others, shatter solid objects and create force-fields. His fiddles can also conceal of variety of different weaponry. At one point he also drove his own Fiddle shaped guitar.

Though his origin story has changed somewhat over time, Fiddler’s basic background is that he was imprisoned in an Indian jail for theft. There, he learnt the mystic art of Indian music from a Fakir. He later escaped and decided to wreak havoc on The Flash’s home, Keystone City (and not specifically its children).

The character seems to have fallen from favour in recent decades. He was killed off, literally consumed in hellfire, in the early 90s, when his powers were revealed to have come from a demon. He was soon revived, but another death followed in 2005 when he was executed for ‘incompetence’ by members of the Secret Six team.

August Film Highlights

There is a blog related to these posts, perhaps you should take a look at it.

Chinatown (1974) Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, John Huston, Perry Lopez, John Hillerman. Dir: Roman Polanski.

A detective is employed to spy on a water company executive suspect of infidelity. Bleak even by noir standards. Shot out of shadows in baking sunlight, corruption is everywhere, but it’s a family secret that horrifies most. Scripted and acted to perfection, crime thrillers don’t get much better than this.

DDDDD

The 39 Steps (1935) Robert Donat, Madeleine Carroll, Lucie Mannheim, Godfrey Tearle. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock. 

 

A Canadian is plunged into intrigue when a spy is killed in his London flat and he’s prime suspect. Hitchcock discovers the perfect formula – an irresistible mix of suspense, thrills and comedy, with a little touch of sex thrown in. The pace is incredible; one witty set piece after another.

DDDDD

The Ipcress File (1965) Michael Caine, Guy Doleman, Nigel Green, Sue Lloyd, Gordon Jackson. Dir: Sidney J. Furie.

A low-ranking intelligence officer is tasked with tracking a missing scientist. A back-streets low-rent alternative to Bond, with a bit of Manchurian Candidate thrown in. A tense and suspenseful journey through the dirty work of spying, with plenty of risks, paperwork and backstabbing for a middling salary. Bleak but gripping.

DDDDd

 Ted (2012) Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel McHale, Patrick Warburton, Patrick Stewart. Dir: Seth MacFarlane.

A boy’s delighted when his teddy comes to life; 27 years later, he’s starting to get in the way. The immature, scattershot gags are what you’d expect from McFarlane, but surprisingly this is a fully developed, almost vintage comedy. Characters are more than just cut-outs and played ably without mugging.

DDDD

 Sons of the Desert (1933) Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charley Chase, Mae Busch, Dorothy Christy. Dir: William A. Seiter.

Stan & Ollie have to try to trick their wives into letting them go to their clubs annual conference. Frequently cited as the boys’ best comedy; it’s certainly their most consistent. A beautifully sustained idea played out with barely a food put wrong. Short but so very sweet.

DDDDd

Nostalgia for the Light (2010) Dir: Patricio Guzmán.

Astronomers seek life’s origins at a Chilean observatory, while others search for bodies buried in the desert. Philosophic exploration of the contradiction between searching for life’s answers in a country that can’t face its past. A rare look at the universe which doesn’t make you feel small. Worth seeing twice.

DDDDd

The Imposter 2012) Dir: Bart Layton.

A French con artist convinces an American family that he is their missing son. True story about an incredible deception, one that could be too good to be true. Can someone’s desire to believe really blind them from the truth? Little is clear, besides the destructive power of lies. Fascinating.

DDDDd

The Best Thing Woody Allen Has Ever Done

Copy Fail: Croydon Postal Depot

They really couldn't have made this simple message more confusing. I think the P739 form is probably the little red card you get through the door when you're not there to collect your parcel. It's usually a good idea to use language your customers would use, and not necessarily the language used within your organisation.

July Film Highlights

The 50 Word blog awaits you...

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Morgan Freeman, Matthew Modine. Dir: Christopher Nolan.

A reclusive Bruce Wayne re-dons the cowl when a terrorist threatens Gotham. So much plot emotive moments sometimes vanish, but by the end, you’ve invested so much it's exhausting. Nolan pulls all the stops, creating an urban war movie full of engaging personal stories. Huge in every way. Awesome cast.

DDDDD

Onibaba (1964) Nobuko Otowa, Jitsuko Yoshimura, Kei Sato. Dir: Kaneto Shindo.

Two poor women survive by killing lone samurai and selling their belongings. Described often as horror, although that’s only in the supernatural final section, Onibaba’s a haunting work about the depths people sink to to survive, losing their inhibitions and humanity. Stunning on screen, full of beauty, dread and menace.

DDDDd

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972) Fernando Rey, Paul Frankeur, Delphine Seyrig, Stéphane Audran, Bulle Ogier, Jean-Pierre Cassel. Dir: Luis Buñuel.

Increasingly bizarre events prevent a group of wealthy friends from enjoying a meal together. Surreal satire that takes witty swipes at a privileged class whose inane, shallow, ridiculous existence persists even through extreme circumstances. Its tricks, twists and occasionally shocking turns reward repeated viewing, but is accessible enough for casual viewers.

DDDDd

A Royal Affair (2012) Mads Mikkelsen, Alicia Vikander, Mikkel Følsgaard, David Dencik, Søren Malling. Dir: Nikolaj Arcel.

A princess is married to the imbecilic mad Danish King, but both are taken with an ambitious new doctor. More than your average costume drama; this sumptuous tale draws attention to a fascinating little-known romance that resulted in political and social change, covering subjects still relevant. Fabulous performances.

DDDDd

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis, Ella Joyce, Heidi Marnhout, Bob Ivy. Dir: Don Coscarelli.

An elderly Elvis and a black JFK team up to fight a mummy feeding off the elderly in their rest home. A Goosebumps for pensioners; this delightfully eccentric story is genuinely poignant, as a cantankerous, mournful, contemplative King, decides to take his final bow. A little slow, but Campbell’s magnificent.

DDDD

Killer Joe (2011) Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Thomas Haden Church, Gina Gershon, Juno Temple. Dir: William Friedkin.

A life insurance seeking family are unable to pay a hitman, so they offer their youngest girl as a retainer. As with Bug, Friedkin and writer Letts are interested in exploring the need for family and togetherness in even twisted circumstances. As much black-comedy as thriller, McConaughey is frighteningly good.

DDDD

Repo Man (1984) Harry Dean Stanton, Emilio Estevez, Tracey Walter, Olivia Barash, Sy Richardson. Dir: Alex Cox.

A teen joins a car repossession firm which is tasked with retrieving a vehicle with something alien in the trunk. Entertainingly off-kilter comedy which explores eccentrics on the fringes of society with surrealism and satire. It’s frequently very funny, but hard to figure what it’s about, if anything.

DDDD

The Lodger: A Story of London (1927) Ivor Novello, Marie Ault, Arthur Chesney, June Tripp, Malcolm Keen. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock.

A serial killer terrifies London while a landlady gets a sinister lodger. One critic claimed this was the best British film to date - with good reason. Hitchcock brought moody European expressionism to his first thriller, and many Hitchcockian themes first show here. Editing and title cards worth praise. Terrific climax.

DDDDd

Copy Fail: JML Worktop Wonder

Well it would be hypocritical of me not to include my own errors now wouldn't it? Should be drawers, shouldn't it? Really obvious, well, as long as you notice it.

I wasn't laughing much, I can tell you. And neither was anyone else!

More Danger at the British Library

It seems the British Library's commitment to stair safety is even greater than previously thought. As you can see here, there are no steps in sight. However, should steps suddenly appear from nowhere, should steps just suddenly rise up from the ground, then the British is prepared and has signs there, waiting and ready to ensure that you don't get caught out by them and can handle them with caution. Well done.

June Film Highlights

You can always read more at the blog.


Radio On (1979) David Beames, Sandy Ratcliff, Lisa Kreuzer, David Beames, Sting. Dir: Christopher Petit.

A DJ drives from London to Bristol to discover why his brother killed himself. Rare, and bleak, British road movie that lingers on the already crumbling signs of modernity across isolating landscapes. Fascinating snap-shot of dark times, with a brilliantly employed soundtrack, its blank joylessness is intriguing, though not endearing.


DDDD

Cosmopolis (2012) Robert Pattinson, Paul Giamatti, Samantha Morton, Sarah Gadon, Kevin Durand, Mathieu Amalric, Juliette Binoche. Dir: David Cronenberg.

A super-rich businessman sits in his limo in traffic, meeting many colourful characters on the way. Exploration of the dark consequences of our lust for wealth. This disquieting satire is often witty, insightful and funny. But gets quite tedious; Pattinson’s detached persona and the bitty story depriving it of drama.


DDDd

Pack Up Your Troubles (1933) Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Don Dillaway, Jacquie Lyn, Mary Carr, James Finlayson. Dir: George Marshall, Raymond McCarey.

Stan & Ollie search for a war orphaned girl’s family, one of hundreds of Smiths. Their second feature still shows unease with a full narrative – takes a while to get to the main set-up. But things take off when the girl appears and them protecting her brings welcome emotional investment.


DDDd

 

Prometheus (2012) Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, Charlize Theron. Dir: Ridley Scott.

Scientists travel to a faraway world to search for mankind’s origins. Intelligent blockbusters are rare, and a prequel that lays new ground unheard of. But for a film about creation, there’s little contemplation. Action’s prioritised, with dramatic and thematic development cut. Does leave you with much to mull over though.


DDDD

Carancho (2010) Ricardo Darín, Martina Gusmán, Carlos Weber, José Luis Arias, Fabio Ronzano. Dir: Pablo Trapero.

A doctor falls in love with an ambulance chasing lawyer, but without realising how dark his world is. Excellent Argentinian crime thriller, with the tropes of film noir but without glamour, and intended to highlight a troubling phenomenon. Gripping and uncompromising, with Darin and Gusman excelling as damaged, compromised people.


DDDDd

Plague of the Zombies (1966) André Morell, Diane Clare, Brook Williams, Jacqueline Pearce, John Carson. Dir: John Gilling.

Mysterious deaths and missing bodies lead a rational doctor to suspect a supernatural cause. One of Hammer’s most polished productions, directed with a good sense of timing and atmosphere, with well utilised music and a fairly intelligent script. It’s just a shame that the climax falls a bit flat.


DDDD

Iron Sky (2012) Udo Kier, Julia Dietze, Christopher Kirby, Götz Otto, Peta Sergeant, Stephanie Paul. Dir: Timo Vuorensola.

US astronauts discover Nazis living on the moon, and preparing for invasion. Goofy fun, but the inexperience of its crew holds it back. Direction lacks timing, tone’s a bit off, it’s cheesily soundtracked, and Bush/Palin gags are outdated. But does look terrific, and there’s some good laughs along the way.


DDD

An Extract From an Article on Internet Trolls...

I'd like to thank the BBC for pointing this out...

Especially useful half-way down the page.

Danger at the British Library

Well, I can see why they'd want to be cautious. They are a perilous 6 inches high. And who would expect stairs near a main entrance, how ridiculous!

May Film Highlights

The 50 Word Film Reviews blog has earned me a massive £6 - oh yeaahhh!  I just need to make another £54 before I can make a withdrawal from Google!  

Cabin in the Woods (2012) Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Amy Acker. Dir: Drew Goddard.

5 teens head to an isolated cabin for a holiday, while men in a bunker wait for the action to unfold. Both celebrates and parodies genre conventions, while insisting on their constant re-evaluation and renewal. It never forgets to be scary and successfully plays with your expectations and your sympathies.

DDDDd


Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972) Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalbán, Natalie Trundy, Hair Rhodes. Dir: J. Lee Thompson.

The apes’ baby is now 20; he arrives in the city to find evolving apes are now a slave class. The first planned sequel develops the ongoing story in a more satisfying way, even if script’s patchy and rushes along. Having an experienced director pays off with a stunning climax.

DDDd

Marley (2012) Dir: Kevin McDonald

The life of Bob Marley, as told by his family and friends. First family-endorsed Marley documentary explores the life of an extraordinary talent and the popular, social and political impact of his music, without indulging in hagiography. Startling footage, great tunes, and real characters make it hard to improve upon.

DDDDd

Ordet (1955) Henrik Malberg, Emil Hass Christensen, Cay Kristiansen, Preben Lerdorff Rye. Dir: Carl Theodor Dreyer.

A father’s faith is tested by two less devout sons and another who believes he is Jesus. Strange but compelling drama about the nature of faith, shot with almost ghostly grace. Characters are brilliantly observed, totally natural in their lack of hysteria. Writing’s sharp, thoughtful and surprising – a real one-off.

DDDDd



The Avengers (2012) Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, Clark Gregg, Cobie Smulders, Stellan Skarsgård, Samuel L. Jackson. Dir: Joss Whedon.

A team of heroes assembles to fight an alien threat. Hangs together surprisingly well, and manages to give almost everyone worthwhile material (except for Jackson). But as with other Marvel movies, the threat’s bland and too pondersome to get worked up about. Yet with so much talent involved, hard not to enjoy.

DDDD



Bringing Up Baby (1938) Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Charles Ruggles, Walter Catlett, May Robson, Fritz Feld. Dir: Howard Hawks.

A palaeontologist’s life is turned upside down by a debutant who happens to have a leopard. All-time classic comedy, with a snappy and outlandish script, which yields all kinds of riches. Only a double act as good as Grant and Hepburn could pull off the breakneck speed of it. Superb.

DDDDDd

Performance (1968) Edward Fox, Mick Jagger, Anita Pallenberg, Michèle Breton, John Bindon. Dir: Donald Cammell, Nicolas Roeg.

A gangster hides in the home of a musician, who has an unexpected effect on him. Experimental film about identity which uses creative cutting and visuals to show Fox’s character unfurl, stripping away the roles he plays. Little grating, but intriguing, with alluring moments and a surprising turn from Jagger.

DDDD


The Deer Hunter (1978) Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken, John Savage, John Cazale, Meryl Streep. Dir: Michael Cimino.

Three friends party and hunt before shipping out to Vietnam, where events transform their lives. Powerful epic-length portrait of sheltered lives transformed by absolute horror. Beautifully shot, with sympathetic, believable characters, great performances and knife-edge terror. Thematically though, it’s muddled, occasionally style-over-substance, and lots of work for a war-is-hell message.

DDDDd

One Day I Will Get to Number 1!